Is 30-something too old to play the online dating game?

I'm back on Match. I figured after my birthday, it's a new year and new me, so I updated my profile what I'm realistically looking for in a partner and pushed "unhide profile." The outcome has been interesting...

I turned 32 just a few weeks ago. Does 32 mean that only men 40+ want to date me? Are they the only ones that are ready to settle down? Do guys see 30-somethings on a dating site and think "oh, no! They're at that age where they want to get married and have babies."

Fine, that may be true for me, but I also want to date someone my age. For some reason, 40+ just seems a little too old for me right now.

These are the kinds of emails I hate gotten in the last few days...

"We seem like the perfect match. You were in my daily matches and I'm definitely interested." (42, bald and lives 90 miles away)

"I came across your profile and had to say hello. While I know I'm not exactly what you're looking for, you're exactly what I am. Hope we can meet soon." (45, had 3 kids and was divorced)

So... the online dating game continues. I'm just trying to figure out if I'm too old to play.

I Didn't Know He Was a BIG Deal!

For the past few months I have had a little side job in LA. Long story short, my office burnt down (yup, you read that right) and I have been working from home. Family friends heard my tale of woe and asked if I could come work from their house a few days of weeks and take care of the dogs.

So, I've gone from executive to puppy-sitter since my fiery disaster, but it gives me a chance to get out of my house and try something new.

Enter, neighbor from next door. Nice guy. In his late late 30s. Always has a house full of characters and apparently just had a new baby.

Nice Guy says hi the minute he moves in. He tells me that he is renting the house next door for the next few months while he is looking to buy a place.

The first thing that goes through my head, "Ok, Nice Guy has MONEY." Think private beach in Malibu kinda cash.

So, for the last 6 weeks Nice Guy has been stopping by, saying hi, asking me about houses he has seen and is genuinely a really nice guy. I like spending time with him and want him to hang out more. But, he is reserved, quite and oh, that's right, just had a baby. (Yes, I met baby mama and baby when they moved in, but haven't seen them since).

As the weeks pass, I start getting curious about Nice Guy. Where does this money come from? What does he do for a living? Why the hell is he talking to me?

So, I googled Nice Guy. I know you all are shocked it took this long, but I didn't think he was a big deal. I'm not going to say who he is, but "big deal" in his industry doesn't even cover it.

So, now I know he's a big deal. But, he doesn't know that I know he's a big deal. Sound like a friends episode? We've got 2 weeks of neighboring left... I'm eager to see how this one is going to play out. Any advice?

Birthday Weekend Part 1 - Psychic Shirley

As many of you know, I had my 2nd anniversary of my 30th bday recently. As a little bday present to myself, I went to see a psychic this weekend and have so much to share!

(This is not the psychic I saw... no crystal ball for Shirley, just energy, tarot cards and love)

I LOVE psychics and have never been to one who hasn't said something that they couldn't have known about me. When I was in high school I wrote a term paper on psychics and got my first reading when I was 16. My next psychic experience came when I was 20. The minute I walked in the woman asked me if I had my appendix out when I was 16. Um, yes... craaaazy! I'm a believer, but I do take everything with a grain of salt.

Yesterday was a great experience. I found Psychic Shirley on yelp and immediately felt like she was the person I needed to see. She lived on the west side and did both in-person and skype readings. She used to be a comedian and I could tell after 2 minutes on the phone with her when scheduling my appointment that she was the right choice.

So? What did she have to say about me and my life? Some interesting stuff... Of course, we started with my love life. She said, as many psychics have, that he is coming. My response, "step on it!" She also said that I needed to open up. She told me that I was attracting guys that weren't on the same frequency as I was because they filled a void for me... then she asked if it had to do with writing. WHAT? I was in shock. She asked if I wrote about my dates! When I said yes, she said it all become clear. I was attracting guys that provided me with good blog fodder, but weren't right for me. Once I cleared that blockage, I would be ready for the next step in my life.

She also gave me some specifics... she said she saw a "j" name, something that had to do with "Kellogg" (may or may not have to do with love, but I'm going to start hanging out in the cereal isle at the grocery store!) and that he had a large dog, either a golden retriever or a lab. He will also be attracted to me because he wants to be part of a big family (which I know both of my brother-in-laws love too).

So, now I wait (and start trolling dog parks)! But, I am going to make more of an effort to put out energy that I want great dates and not just good stories for you all! This is beginning of my road to I do, that I hope you stick with me on!

I'm starting with something that Shirley calls the "Rules of Mating." Yes, another blog on this will come soon!

When Something Shocking Happens It Can Give You A Little Perspective

I'm still in a little shock. Sometimes things happen in life that not only shock you, but shake you to your core. Make you reevaluate who you are as a person and how you're living your life. That happened to me this weekend.

First off, I don't want to make this about me. This isn't about me. It's about an amazing man who left this earth too soon. The little part about me is what I'm taking away from it. I do feel like everyone is here to teach people something. Whether it is big or small, I hope that when it is my time people will be able to say they learned something from me. It doesn't have to be life changing, but something that makes a difference in someone's life.

Back to the story... I was puppy sitting this past weekend at my sister's house. They treat their dog like he is a child, so puppy sitting is some legit business. My puppy nephew and I were watching the TCU vs Baylor football game on Friday night. (If anyone saw the game, you would know it was amazing. What a way to kick off college football season!) I texted a family friend who's daughter went to Baylor and commented on the game. When the game was over she called to chat. Yes, she is a mom, but almost like my second mom. She is amazing and someone I love dearly.

She asked me why I was home on a Friday night, how my vacation was, etc. and then said she had some news for me and asked if I had talked to her daughter. I said no and the phone got quiet... She told me that the Banker (read here) was dead. DEAD. (Side note: On our first date, the Banker and I figured out that his college roommate was married to my family friend's cousin. We had a group of friends that we're in common. That meant I could also do a background check that came back glowing!)

Tears came to my eyes as she started to tell me what happened... He was a best man at a wedding in late August. While the bride and groom were off taking their pictures, he suffered a massive heart attack. They tried to resuscitate him on site, but he passed away. At the wedding. Of his best friend. At the age of 33. Now, if you know this person or not that would bring tears to anyone's eyes.

All I kept saying was, "that doesn't make sense, I see him at the gym with his girlfriend everyday. He looked totally fine!" Then, my thought went to his girlfriend, (who he started dating after we decided we'd be better off as friends) poor girl is out with her amazingly nice and awesome boyfriend, meeting all of his friends for the first time thinking she's finally met the one...

The odd thing is that I went to the gym on September first and was thinking, weird the banker isn't here, we always go to the gym at the same time. Things that make you go hmmm...

There are people in life that change you. That make you a better person. I think I was meant to meet the Banker for that reason. We only went out 3 times, but as you can see from my blog, I wanted one of my friends to date him. No real sparks between us, but I still wanted him in my life. This past weekend I was jarred. I kept thinking, what if we had hit it off? Would I be able to handling this kind of pain right now?

This news truly put a lot in perspective for me. I have to stop thinking "where is he" and starting thinking "here I am." I need to live life to the fullest because we all never really know when it will be over. And when it is over, I want to look back and know that I did it right.

(Sorry this is so depressing, but with dating comes life experience and "the more" part of my blog that I need to share with you all as well!)

The Flying Dutchman!

Many people have asked me how I feel about going dutch on a first date... Well, here's a story that will give you your answer.

A few weeks ago I went on a date with a guy. We'll call him The Flying Dutchman. We met on How about we? (A site I love, but not enough people are using!). We planned to meet up for a drink, but he obviously didn't get my dating memo (many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of dinner for a first date) and made plans for dinner. Fine... dinner it is.

A little about him: He is a few years younger (JUST turned 30), and acted young. No real life experience, wasn't much of a conversationalist, and answered questions instead of asking them. Don't get me wrong, he was a really nice guy, but someone I wanted to set up with someone else after the first 5 minutes into our date (which I did, btw. Blog on that coming soon!).

Back to dinner. I ordered a glass of wine ($9) and soup ($7). He had a beer ($6) and tacos ($18). As our conversation started to lack and I was running out of questions to ask the bill came. The waitress put it in between us. A few questions then began running through my head...

1. Shouldn't a waitress know better? Give it to the guy and then let the girl offer to pay!
2. Does paying for the bill have anything to do with who asks who out on the date?
3. Is it okay to split the bill if you're just getting drinks, but who should pay when it's a full on dinner? Then, what happens who you order appetizers to go with your drinks on a whim?

After 15 minutes I gave up and reached for the bill. As I was reaching The Flying Dutchman beat me to it.

Him: Staring at the check for a good few 3 minutes without grabbing for his wallet.

Me: "Why don't we just split it?" I always offer!

Him: "Well, you had the soup and wine. With tip and tax that will be about $20. Cool?"

Me: "um, Ok." Damn me for being polite!

I guess it's better that he charged me for what I ate than just splitting it down the middle, but seriously, it was horrible. I'm thinking I might start a 30-something dating charm school for men. Lesson 1: Did you mother teach you NOTHING? Pay for the first date!

Now, before all you boys get pissy, please note that while I expect a guy to pay for the first date, I still always offer to pay, always pay for or make dinner once date 3-4 comes around and always make up for it in other ways. I'm a team player when it comes to dating, but do like a little chivalry now and then. (Looks like I'm not the only one! Do a google search for Dutch dating and it's like you typed in the word Boobs. Pages and pages of female bloggers comment about their dutch dating disasters, like miss Mimosas and Grits (two of my favorite things!).

And I Wonder Why I'm Not Married?

Apparently boys are instilled with some kind of fear of marriage at a young age? I kid, but seriously, how funny is the little girl? She could care less. It's her way or the highway and just continues to go about her day (while cleaning up a bit!).

If you need me, I'll be in online dating rehab...

As many of you know, I quit Match.com cold turkey last week. This week I have hidden my profile on OK Cupid and this morning, I deleted the apps. If you need me, I'll be in online dating Rehab.

About a month ago, I started to think that I was spending more time trying to find someone online than I was just being myself and experiencing all LA has to offer in the summer. The real kicker was when I discovered that in the morning I wake up, check my email, twitter, facebook and online dating sites before I ever get out of bed. I knew I was addicted.

No. The madness must stop. But, it's harder than I thought it was going to be. Kind-of like seeing the little red light blink on your blackberry when you have an email or your iPhone chime when you have a text, I think I have a physical response to seeing if someone is checking me out online. When I get an email from an online dating site, a little burst of happiness goes through my head (that is, until I realize he is in his 50s and lives in Maine. But still, it's nice to be wanted). Is this a new addiction that can actually happen in our world?

I started doing a little research and apparently, I'm not the only one. The blog, Thoughts on Dating wrote this... "Online dating can be as addictive as anything else because when you make a connection with someone online, it makes the same chemicals in your brain react as if you had taken a drug. The same thing happens to runners and drug addicts. It’s how they become addicted. You aren’t addicted to the online dating, per-se, but you are addicted to the feeling it produces. The endorphins that are released, the feel good chemical, can take control of your life and make you continue doing what it was that released the chemical to begin with. Just in this case it happens to be online dating and not Pot."

There's even a woman who wrote a book about her experience as an online dating junkie.

Yes, I think that's what I have! But, like any other addiction, there is withdrawal and angst when you can't get your fix. The last week or so has made me question my decision and whether I can find "the one" without being online. I go to the gym everyday and am out 3-4 nights a week with friends and family, so there is the possibility, but have I been leaning on my online dating crutch too long?

We'll find out. Starting today, I'm totally cold turkey. No apps (which are really what have sucked me in!) and all accounts have been frozen (not deleted, I don't what to fill out all those questionnaires again!).

Bets on how long it takes me to get my first date internet free? Anyone else out there addicted? Would love to hear your story and would love some male perspective! Email me at mylifeonmatch@gmail.com.

Happy Friday!

Ps. I'm not going to get a date tonight. I'm headed to west hollywood for an art opening. Another night of hot guys checking out other hot guys. At least there will be eye candy.

My DREAM guy - The list!

Everyone says that when you put something you want out there in the universe it is more likely to come true. Well, I'm going to put this to the test. I put together the characteristics I would like in my dream man. Yes, some of these things are negotiable, but I'm talking DREAM man here, not some Joe Shmoe off the street!

Here it is:

Over 6'

Dark hair (light eyes are a huge plus)

Has drive (family and job)

College graduate

Creative

Can carry an intellectual conversation

Challenges me

Up-to-date with news and pop culture

Social drinker

Doesn't smoke

2-6 yrs older than me

Has siblings and a relationship with his family

Physically fit

Likes to play and watch sports

Finds me sexy

Loves me for who I am and the way I am

Likes the arts (museums, plays, etc.)

Enjoys good food & going out to dinner

Wants kids

Likes dogs and doesn't have a cat

Financially stable

Lives in or wants to live in Southern California

Romantic/chivalrous

Honest

Loyal

Good communicator (email, phone, in person)

Has a career

Likes music (even country)

Complimentary

Is funny/ has a good sense of humor

Is affectionate

Likes my family

Has good teeth

Is kind

Has good manners

Is outgoing (doesn't need to be entertained in a group)

Has his own circle of friends

Has traveled (even a little)

If I had to compare him to a TV character, I would probably want to date Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother.

Is this too much to ask? Probably, but I'm throwing it out there anyway! This is what my ideal guy would look like...

Ok, universe, do your magic!

When Match.com Comes to LIFE...

A few weeks ago, I was invited to a birthday party. The hostess is a party planner, so I knew the party was going to be top shelf. We all met at this great bar on the west side and got table service (it was hilarious... like we were in Vegas!). I was expecting to have a few too many drinks and do a little dancing, but wasn't expecting my online dating world to literally be staring back at me.

It was like I was in Where the Wild Things Are... many of the men I had seen online were now standing in front of me. Match.com had COME TO LIFE.

So, my girlfriends and I did what all smart girls since they have seen Clueless - we did several laps of the bar before committing to a location. Unfortunately, our location was in the boondocks. But, as we walked around I had a story for each man...

Man 1: I think he is perfect for me. He apparently does not. He was wearing a wedding ring in one of his photos. I emailed him and asked if he was married. The pictured was cropped. So, I know he read my email, but never responded!

Man 2: Friends with Man 1 and in a few pictures together. Very good looking, but again, didn't email me back.

Man 3: Looked familiar, but didn't look exactly like he did online. I have never reached out to him.

Man 4: Is definitely online, but looks like he is there with a girlfriend. Or at least she thinks she is his girlfriend.

So... what do you do when you actually run into people that you have checked out online? After my lap I went back to stand next to them at the bar and the cute boys had vanished.

But, this also happens to me almost everyday at the gym. Match and OkCupid bounce off the internet walls and end up in my spin class. It's kinda awkward to see someone who has checked out your profile riding next to you. Do you give them the nod or literally wink? ha!

I'm in a bind and would love some advice... Say something? Ignore? Pretend like you didn't see them online? What does one do in this situation?

It's time for coffee talk - comments are encouraged!

The online dating scam - real or fake?

A few weeks ago there was a special on 20/20 on online dating scams. Did anyone see it? I happen to be at my mom's that night. Thanks to my crush, Mr. Chris Cuomo, she is now convinced I'm getting conned by men in Ghana who pose as hottie military men in need of cash every month. Luckily, she is wrong, but she is right because there are some not nice people out there. In case you missed it, recap here.

So, this brings me to the emails. Do women (or men for that matter) know immediately in an email that someone is "not really in it for love?" Take this email for instance... I read this and immediately thought, "this has got to be a computer automated scam." But, maybe some people aren't so savvy?

NICE PROFILE.
NICE PROFILE YOU DISPLAYED ON HERE. TRYING TO EXHIBIT THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES. I THINK I FIND IT RATHER FASCINATING BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST TO KEEP CALM LOOK CLOSELY BEFORE TAKING A DIVE. SO IN ALL I CAN SAY... A NICE PICS YOU'VE GOT TOO. BUT THERE'S ONE MORE THING
I'D LIKE TO KNOW. AND THAT IS IF A GENTLE MAN IS WELCOME IN YOUR WORLD? I HOPE NOT BECAUSE A TRUE EXPLORER SHOULD BE READY FOR THE DANGERS AND PLEASURES OF LIFE. WELL I'M Alan William.... AND I HAPPEN TO BE SINGLE AND NEVER MARRIED .. IF IT'S OK BEING FRIENDS WHY DON'T YOU MAIL ME TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS SO I CAN WRITE MORE ABOUT ME. THE REASON IS
THAT AM NOT A FREQUENT SUBSCRIBER ON HERE . GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST PART BUT I SEE THAT COURAGE IN YOU FROM HERE. THROUGH YOUR EYES.TO INCLUDE THIS ADDYDUM I LIKE TO CLEAR THAT DISTANCE/NATIONALITY DOES NOT TRANSCEND IN RELATIONSHIP NOT EVEN AGE IS CONSIDERED A FACTOR.IF INTERESTED AFTER YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH MY
PROFILE LEAVE A MESSAGE. LOOK AROUND YOU, AREN'T YOU HAVING THE CUTEST PICTURE ON match I VOTE YOU'VE GOT THE MOST MAGICAL SMILE I'VE EVER SEEN IN RECENT TIMES... I MAY NOT BE MR. PERFECT I AM Alan AND I HAPPEN TO NEED THE RIGHT WOMAN AROUND.CONTACT ME HERE ON (Personal email address)
CHEERS..Alan

So this is definitely fake. For one it's in all caps. Who does that? Secondly, his name is not in all caps. Weird? Yes. Third? His profile is GONE. Two days after he sent this email his profile has disappeared. Lastly, his English is tortured. Everyone who follows me on twitter knows how much I appreciate good grammar in an email on an online dating site. Don't write me in text language unless we are texting (or tweeting).

So, guys and girls out there, beware of the scam, but be smart. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck (oh, and asks you for cash), it probably is a creepy conman from Ghana (according to 20/20 - not me!).

Romantic Comedy in 60 seconds

Yup - Love this.

March Madness and Another "Really?" Date

First off, so sorry for the lack of posts! Work has been getting the best of me. I have however, been dating away and some of the dates haven't really been blog-worthy (you can follow me on twitter and I live tweet from my dates in the valet line and bathroom for your enjoyment! @mylifeonmatch). Just a plethora of nice guys that aren't for me. But... then again, there are few that I can talk about. Today's post with feature, March Madness Man. We'll call him 3M.

So, 3M and I met on OK Cupid. I hadn't been out in a while and he reached out. He seemed like a nice guy. 38, tall, brown hair and lived within 20 miles of me. (Side note: As many of you in LA know, anything over 20 miles, and sometimes under, can be a long distance relationship. Sometimes it can take you 20 minutes to get to your date and sometimes it can take you 2 hours. More than likely, it always the latter.)

3M and I emailed a few times and decided to meet at a sports bar on the third street promenade in Santa Monica. Earlier in the day, I checked in via text to make sure we were still on and he texted me back saying he was bowling for a charity event and would try to make it as close to 1pm as possible. We settled on 1pm so we could grab a bite and watch the game of one of my favorite Pac-10 (now Pac-12) teams.

I leave my house giving me ample time to get there park and meet him out front. At 12:50pm I roll in and see a table up front. Since it is a packed sports bar I grab the table as soon as I can. Also, since it is a busy bar, I have to order something in order to keep the table. So, I order a beer, take off my sweater, aim myself towards the TV and wait.

1pm rolls by.... I get a text, "I'm on my way! Sorry, bad traffic."

1:15pm rolls by... nothing.

1:20pm... I'm getting a little annoyed and now a little embarrassed that I am holding this table for myself in a land of cute guys all with their friends cheering on the game. I send 3M a text, "I got us a great table. I'm wearing jeans and a pink and white top. Hope to see you soon."

1:30pm... Text from 3M. "Hey, trying to park. Wow, the traffic is bad around here." The entire time I'm thinking, "Duh... have you NEVER been to Santa Monica on a Saturday?"

1:45pm... 3M rolls in.

Him: "Wow. Had to no idea how bad the traffic would be."

Me: "How long have you lived in LA?"

Him: "10 years"

SERIOUSLY? AND YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW BAD THE TRAFFIC WOULD BE?

Me: "Ok. Well, sorry. I had to order a drink to save us this table. Hope you don't mind."

Him: "No, but is that your first drink?"

Me: "Um, yes." Did he expect me not to drink or to be wasted?

Him: "Well, I just had a bunch of bowling food, but could really go for some fries. You want something?"

Me: "I think I'll have another drink." I'm also thinking... aren't fries bowling food?

Now, 3M is a nice guy, but again (you guys know my luck with the online dating scene), his pictures are definitely a few years old. 3M is balding and supporting a tummy that could easily pass for a woman in her 2nd trimester.

Back to the game that is getting good.

Him: "Who are you rooting for?"

I tell him the team I like and why I like them (no, I didn't go to school there, but know a bunch of people who did). He then decides to make things interesting that he is going to root for the other team, just because.

Now, I'm a competitive person, but really? We're supposed to get to know each other on this date. He was 45 minutes late and is now going to root against me?

Throughout the game and the bucket of fries, we talk about what we do. It's like we're on two different planets. He says he is saving the world on his profile. He works in politics (and is on the other side of spectrum than I am). I say I'm saving the world on my profile. I work for a number of nonprofits. Ok, neither of us are really saving the world, but come on...

Back to the game... we're in double overtime. My team is playing awesome, but the game is close. 3M is now standing up and cheering on the other team... JUST. BECAUSE. My team loses. 3M is now laughing. And just like that the date was over. I'm not a poor sport, but I am a little annoyed. We have also run out of things to talk about.

We leave on nice terms... "Great meeting you. Thanks for the beer!" But, my interest level in him is at a zero. I think nothing of it and head home. At least I got to see the game on the big screen.

A MONTH LATER, 3M calls and leaves a message on my cell. I have saved it because it still makes me laugh. "Hey, Emily, It's 3M from OK Cupid (like it's his company). Was just calling to check in and say hi. I hope we can still be friends. Maybe I'll run into you again sometime? Talk soon!"

Did he just give me the "I hope we can be friends" line? It's like he broke up with me and we went on one date, a MONTH ago!

Again, another great experience, but goes down in my books as a "really?" date because every time I think about it the only word that comes to mind is "really?"

Not my kind of "Out Of This World"

As many of my tweeple know, I went on a date last week that was in one word "odd." But, let me start from the beginning.

I was playing my usual late name game of quickmatch on OK Cupid. You know how some people are addicted to Angry Birds? That's me with quickmatch. I can't rate 'em fast enough! (BTW, they are mostly 1-2 stars! What up cupid - get with the program and get some better aim!) I finally came across a guy who seemed decent, had a job and normal things to say. So I gave him 4 stars and hoped for the best.

The next morning I got a wink and an email from said mystery man and 2 days later we had a date planned for early the next week. I appreciated a lot of things from his emailing... he used correct grammar, spelled whole words and planned the date that was on my side of town. The best part? The date was at a wine bar!

Side note: I figure that bars are a great place for a first date because they have alcohol to divert the attention if need be and the drinks tend to let some nervous or shy people come out of their shell (ps. I don't need alcohol to be me. I was born shell-less).

In his emails he told me that he looked like Clark Kent. Hmm... the expectations were now VERY high. Who actually looks like Clark Kent??

About an hour late I met "Clark" at the bar. He was waiting for me outside (in the rain!) and had already taken the liberty of getting us a table and wine cards. At this point I'm thinking "WOO HOO! This guy is a planner. I like it!" AND... he did look a little like Clark Kent. Yippee!

And that my friends was the high point of the date... We each got a glass of wine, he ordered some food and then the talking began... please note, none of the below items I am about to share were in his profile. Ah, the joys of online dating.

Subject 1: School & Job

Me: Where did you go to school?

Clark: Well, I went to Seminary in NY for a while and now I'm an atheist.

Me: Woah, back up there. You went to seminary? To be a Rabbi? (Yes, his name is very jewish, I went out on the limb, sue me.)

Clark: Yup. I actually graduated from there, but stopped taken my seminary classes 2 years in.

Me: Ok, so now what do you believe in? (Now, I'm fascinated and want to know more!)

Clark: I don't believe in a higher being. I'm a writer now and am really into what else is out there. I spend a lot of time thinking about the other me in a parallel universe. (At this point I wanted to put my fingers together like Evie from Out of the World and get out of this bar, but am oddly interested at the same time.)

Me: huh? Like the show Fringe?

Clark: I don't watch TV.

Me: But, you're a screenwriter?

Clark: Yes, but I write movies.

Me: Cool, like what?

Clark: Well, nothing has been sold yet.

Me: (OMG. Kill me now.) Another glass of wine?

Subject 2: Fate vs Destiny?

The date then takes a turn when he says something about "everything happens for a reason."

Me: Oh, so you believe in fate? Destiny?

Clark: Um, no. Where did you get that?

Me: Well, isn't fate really when everything happens for a reason?

Clark: No.

Me: huh? (This debate continues on for a few minutes while both of us very strongly stand out ground on our beliefs). Oh look, my glass is empty again! (We're getting 1 ounce tastes of everything. I DO need to drive home!)

After our final tasting, I'm getting a little annoyed. I can really talk to anyone about anything and this is like an interview gone bad, yet for some reason, he wants to keep chatting. Finally, Clark agrees that maybe it is time to go and we head outside to our cars.

Me: Where did you park, maybe we can walk together?

Clark: Oh, not that lot. That's the expensive one.

Me: Um, ok. I parked over there (pointing to a different lot across the street)

Clark: Oh good! That's the lot I parked in too!

Me: Great! (Yes, I'm wearing open-toed heels in the rain and am now annoyed.)

As we get to my car...

Clark: Well, this was fun. Not sure if it's rude to say, but I definitely don't think we have a romantic connection. But, I'd still love to hang out sometime.

Me: Haha! I agree! Great... well, you know where to find me!

Clark: Sounds good - nite! (As he roams around having no idea where his car is.)

No. Neither of us have reached out. And the dating game continues!

That's Right... I'm now taking marriage advice from a 5 year old

Well, at least SHE thinks, I'm doing it right. I've got the job, where's the man?

Don't you have ANYONE to set me up with??

You know how once you hit a certain age, you start asking anyone and everyone, "don't you have someone to set me up with?" Then you you start asking around and it seems that NO ONE has anyone to set you up with. I have yet to understand how this is possible... My favorite friend line is, "Yes, I know some single guys, but I am NOT introducing them to you. They are single for a reason."

Wait... does that mean I'm single for a reason??

No fear singletons... there is ANOTHER online app that leverages the power of your friends on Facebook to hook up their single friends. Introducing, Heartbroker.

If you haven't clued in yet, a "heartbroker" is the friend you pick to profile you to help you find the one true love. The idea behind the new company is that friends won't lie and will do their best to find you a match (or get your laid - depending on the friend).

Here’s how the company describes the process: “Heartbroker works by having singles ask their trusted friends to write a testimonial and rate them on five simple attributes. The testimonials are listed on singles’ profiles so that their matches can evaluate them. The attribute ratings, on the other hand, remain confidential to encourage honest feedback, and are used to determine compatibility with others. Friends can also try their hand at playing Cupid with Heartbroker by suggesting matches to their single friends.”

My favorite part is that the singleton must first approve a Heartbroker for the feedback to count, so you don't need to worry about a crazy college roommate (dude, how insane does that movie look, btw?) posting something out you and trying to get you killed by an axe murderer.

Once you approve the testimonial from you Heartbroker, it is displayed on your public profile (don't forget single boys, NO pics in the bathroom mirror with our without your shirt on), which can then be viewed by other Heartbroker users.

Now, a little bit about the testimonial. It's really not that much work. Your friend will rate you on attractiveness (if they say you're ugly, then they are not your friend!), intellect, humor, kindness and “outgoingness.” Now, the company claims the attribute ratings are used only in the company’s matching algorithm and not shown to anyone (ala eHarmony anyone?). That data will always remain hidden, but your friend will see the testimonial you wrote about them, as long as you approve. Make sense?

For now, the site is exclusive to Facebook. To participate, you must have a Facebook account and cannot profile a friend who is not on Facebook. Who doesn't have a Facebook account?? And Zoosk - you might be screwed.

The idea behind the site is to make the online dating process more social, moving it away from the “solitary self-promotion” ofthe current online dating market.

So, I'm gonna get my little sister to write something amazing about me and I'll report back when I'm married in a few months. Till then - Happy Valentine's Day!

Marriage in 60 seconds

And we're all looking for love, why? GREAT video :)

Chance Encounters - You can online date, but you can't hide!

Why? Why is it when you break up with someone they always seem to make their way back into your life? My answer is that the world is too small and online dating makes it even smaller. You can online date, but you can't hide!

Chance Encounter 1:

My ex-boyfriend, who I dated for over a year and broke up with me days before my sister's wedding (see my ex-boyfriend peed on me entry), hadn't seen each other in about a year. I had started a new job and was looking for love online.

Me: Ooh! I have a message from someone! (log on).

Inbox: Letter from x-boyfriend. "Fancy meeting you here! Wow! We're a 97% match! Who knew?

Me: Inside my very annoyed head... "SERIOUSLY?? Um, we were together for a year."

Outbox: Letter from me back to ex-boyfriend. "Yeah. Damn that 3%, huh?"

Inbox: Radio Silence.

Chance Encounter 2:

The banker (see Friend Zone entry) who I met on Match. The banker is still a doll. Nice guy who I just didn't and don't want to have sex with. In an effort to find someone I do want to have sex with, I joined a high-end gym in LA. As I am there in my workout clothes and sporting my holiday winter weight, The banker walks in and says hello.

The banker: Hey! What are you doing here?

Me: Ya know, joining a gym. Good holiday (and other annoying small talk in front of gym membership girl)?

The banker: Yes, it was amazing.

Me: So, hey, since you're standing here... do you want my referral?

Membership girl: You get a free month!!

The banker: Sure, that would be awesome.

Me: Well, it's the least I can do to pay you back after all those nice dates that didn't really pan out for you. (yes, I actually said that as the membership girl starts to giggle)

The banker: Um, cool, thanks.

Me: Oooookay! Bye!

Chance Encounter 3:

Another online doozy! My little sister ran into a hot older guy that lives where we grew up this fall (Again, see my ex-boyf the pisser!). Apparently after reaching out to hot older guy on my own and not hearing back, I have discovered that he really only wanted to hit on my little married sister, than get my number. He is now on Match. We are a 90% match and I check him out everyday just to make him feel bad.

Chance Encounter 4-6:

I went to a school where the girls were kinda cute and the boys were so-so. Still, I always had a cute boyfriend or someone to make out with and have gorgeous girl friends. Either way, most of my friends didn't marry someone we went to school with, so it's no shock when I see them online. The funny thing is when they see YOU online! In the last three weeks, I have seen and been checked out by someone I made out with on Valentine's Day '99, someone I took condoms from for a sorority treasure hunt in '00 and then someone I dated briefly post college in '02, but I met in school. That's right girls, my sloppy seconds are up grabs on Match! Who wants 'em?

The thing that makes me laugh is that I live in a HUGE city, how can the internet (and one dating site) make the world so small?