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Monday, September 27, 2010

I Have Entered the FRIEND ZONE

As you guys know, I'm in sexter withdrawal and spent the last two weeks giving the Banker a chance. Here's the update...

It's been about three weeks and we've gone on three dates. The Banker is what you want your friends to marry. He is so sweet, pays for everything, and asks thoughtful questions. For example, I was out of town for a few days and he asked if we wanted to grab dinner and then go back to my place so I could catch up on my TV. No, I'm not dumb, I'm sure he wanted to go back to my place for a different reason, but the fact that he knows I have a close and complicated relationship with my dvr is nice.

Our second date was great. We went to a really nice dinner, got a little buzzed and made out like teenagers while watching Jersey Shore. It was FUN.

The problem? Last week we entered the FRIEND ZONE.

We decided to grab an early dinner and catch a movie. The whole date was great, but mid-movie as my hand was in the 7th grade pose hoping to get grabbed, I realized I really didn't want my hand to be grabbed. Our dinner conversation was more on a friend level. Now, we were in the dark and there was nothing urging me to put my hand on his leg, whisper in his ear, etc.

After the movie we headed back to my house. (side note: the electronic house music in the car was a bit of a buzz kill even when not drinking.) I was pooped, but invited him. Come on... I'm really trying here! Now, we're in my house and NOTHING. We watched TV. He leaned over and kissed me and the hot make-out sesh we had had the week before was a thing of the past. (This again, just proved to me the importance of alcohol in a relationship!) The kiss was wet and sloppy.

I'm now going to have to have the talk... "It's not you, It's me." "You're such a nice guy." "There just isn't any chemistry."

Back to the drawing board... have three dates set up for the next two weeks. And... we'll see if the sexter picks things up where he left them off.

My question to you all this week is... what does the FRIEND ZONE look like for you? And, what do you do once you're in it??

Monday, September 13, 2010

My Sexting Cherry Has Been Popped

I still don't really know how this happen. One day I was a sexting virgin and the next day I'm sending things in texts I wouldn't do in real life... Who is this slutty girl and how the hell did she get her hands on my iPhone? Oh, wait... that scandalous sexting girl is me!

So, the last week has been filled with confusion, dates and sexts all having almost nothing to do with each other.

Lets start with the sexting. Midweek I went on a lunch date with a guy friend. I guy I have known for ages. I even dated one of his friends. We were going to lunch because I wanted to set him up with one of my friend's friends. Somewhere between lunch and getting back to our offices (a 5-minute walk) the emails began. Over the afternoon, the emails were flirty, fun and a little risque. Once day turned to night the emails turned to sexts.

If you were in my apartment with me, my face would have looked something like this...

Two days and 562 texts sent and received later, my face looked like this:

Over the weekend I slowly turned into Pavlov's dog of sexting. I would hear the ding of texts coming in and all of the blood would rush down to my nether region. Words like naughty, tits, and cock were filling me head. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, but I'm not a one-night-stand kind-of-girl either.

In the midst of all of this, I'm also getting completely PG texts from a guy I've been out with a few times (we'll call him the Banker). The Banker is so nice, great on paper and "hopes I'm having a great day" every morning. The problem? I'm not all that physically attracted to him (although he is a good kisser). And all I can think about is getting slammed against a wall letting sexting boy have his way with me.

No, I haven't seen sexting boy in person since our lunch, but our sexts sessions have been wild and have taken place everyday from about noon to two and then 9-11 every night for almost a week.

It's like I have a devil and angel on my shoulders and need to make a decision... or I could just play this whole thing out and see what happens. The nice guy who wants to take me on dates and tells me I'm pretty or the sexter or wants me to send him pics of my boobs, but gets me all hot and bothered (yes, he is cute and has a job)?

Also... have you noticed that when it rains, it pours? No dates all of August and now I have 4 set up for next week. This dating/sexting this is exhausting, but you won't hear my complaining!

I wanna hear everyone's take on sexting. I'm still trying to figure out how it's such a huge fad with teens. Are they THAT sexually active that they have the knowledge of what to sext or do they just watch a lot of porn and follow the leader? Just so you know, phrases like "you naughty, dirty girl" are SO passe.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Fine... Sometimes It's My Fault

I'm baaack! As many of you know, I took a much-needed dating hiatus for the month of August. I needed some me time. To hang out with my friends, move into my new apartment, clean out my closet and get rid of everything that I didn't need. I purged. I purged both material items and things in my life I realized weren't good for me... shitty friends, a few extra pounds, old emails from x-boyfriends, etc.

Now, it's September. I'm 31 and ready to date men, not boys. August was also the month when dove into The Duchess Guide Summer Loving Series. The class is about focusing on yourself and what you want out of life, love, etc. (I recommend everyone check out the site stat, because Duchess Jill Brown is amazing!) One thing I learned about myself is that sometimes a crappy date is 100% my fault! While I would like to believe that I am perfect, I'm not and have been known a time or two to eff things up just fine on my own.

So, in the name of rehabing myself, I'm gonna come clean and tell the world about a few dates where I was the one who effed up.

Bachelor #1:
I met B#1 on Match. He reached out to me, was older, attractive and seemed to have his shit together. He was perfect on paper and seemed pretty perfect in person too. We met at a cute restaurant in LA and upon meeting me suggested we parlay drinks to dinner. WOO HOO. About an hour into dinner I realize that I have down 2 glasses of wine pretty quickly. As dinner was being removed and B#1 was reviewing the dessert menu, I try to be funny, tell a story with my hands and knock over glass of wine #3 into B#1's lap while drowning his blackberry on the way. Instead of laughing this off like I hoped he would, we called it a night and I never heard from B#1 again (that is until I was matched up with him on eharmony last month. Yes, story about that will come soon as we are supposed to have drinks in a few weeks.).

Bachelor #2:
I actually went out with B#2 during my dating hiatus. He emailed me one morning and asked if I wanted to get coffee. 2 hours later we were at one of my least favorite restaurants not drinking coffee (I'm still confused about that part). Either way, it was a nice little get to know you. He asked me to email him my number - which I did when I got back to the office. A week went by and radio silence. There was this great event coming up that I thought he would like, so I emailed him and said "Bummer, I guess I had more fun on our little get to know you than you did. Anyways, thought you would love this event." He responded with, "I've been texting you and haven't heard back."

That's right kids, I gave him the wrong number. I emailed from my iPhone and put in a 7 where an 8 should have been. No worries - problem solved! Or so I thought...

A few days later I asked if he wanted to hit up a bbq with me that weekend. The next morning I check my match to see that my subscription has expired. No big deal, I'll renew. Then as I try to input my credit card info I'm alerted that the number has been stolen and the bank has now frozen all of my assets. That's right I can't re-subscribe until I can get a hold of the bank. That doesn't happen until the morning of the party (due to the holiday weekend) where B#2 has now emailed me 2 days earlier saying he would love to come. I called B#2 to set things up and haven't heard back. I even texted an apology and still nothing.

So, see? Sometimes the stars aren't aligned and things can't always work out the way you want them to. I am at fault sometimes and am now more ready than ever before to see what else life has to throw at me. Lots of dates set up for the next few weeks... stay tuned.