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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

When Match.com Comes to LIFE...

A few weeks ago, I was invited to a birthday party. The hostess is a party planner, so I knew the party was going to be top shelf. We all met at this great bar on the west side and got table service (it was hilarious... like we were in Vegas!). I was expecting to have a few too many drinks and do a little dancing, but wasn't expecting my online dating world to literally be staring back at me.

It was like I was in Where the Wild Things Are... many of the men I had seen online were now standing in front of me. Match.com had COME TO LIFE.

So, my girlfriends and I did what all smart girls since they have seen Clueless - we did several laps of the bar before committing to a location. Unfortunately, our location was in the boondocks. But, as we walked around I had a story for each man...

Man 1: I think he is perfect for me. He apparently does not. He was wearing a wedding ring in one of his photos. I emailed him and asked if he was married. The pictured was cropped. So, I know he read my email, but never responded!

Man 2: Friends with Man 1 and in a few pictures together. Very good looking, but again, didn't email me back.

Man 3: Looked familiar, but didn't look exactly like he did online. I have never reached out to him.

Man 4: Is definitely online, but looks like he is there with a girlfriend. Or at least she thinks she is his girlfriend.

So... what do you do when you actually run into people that you have checked out online? After my lap I went back to stand next to them at the bar and the cute boys had vanished.

But, this also happens to me almost everyday at the gym. Match and OkCupid bounce off the internet walls and end up in my spin class. It's kinda awkward to see someone who has checked out your profile riding next to you. Do you give them the nod or literally wink? ha!

I'm in a bind and would love some advice... Say something? Ignore? Pretend like you didn't see them online? What does one do in this situation?

It's time for coffee talk - comments are encouraged!


  1. I might actually use it as a way to strike up a conversation and see if they are actually interesting in real life...

  2. This is a great post! I haven't had this happen, and I don't know what I would do if I did. However, while cruising Match I did find one of my ex's best friends on there. The next time I saw him it was SO awkward.

  3. I was doing floor exercises for 30 mins next to a guy who has repeatedly messaged me and winked at me via Match. So awkward. I definitely chose to ignore him by ferverently focusing on my crunches.

    It's definitely this weird loop hole if dating/socialization. I think it would be kind of hilarious to just full on disclose a line like, "don't I know you from… match.com?"

    Love to hear other ideas about this.

  4. This is a great question, and I'm afraid I don't have one good answer to it. The one time this happened to me I was at a restaurant where I saw an online guy I had declined to meet just the week before. I recognized him, kept my head down, and hid behind the menu. I don't know if he saw or recognized me, but I felt incredibly awkward about it. If anyone has good suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

    One question I'd have would be whether men and women feel differently about it. I've heard that men are particularly nervous about admitting they've tried a dating website, so I wonder if they'd be even more hesitant to admit that they recognize you from online.

  5. I agree to some of your comments... we need some male perspective!

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  7. It's true; I think most men are really nervous to admit they have tried online dating. My roommate and I were both on OkCupid for nearly 6 months before I found out he was doing it. I did not find out from him, but from an ex who messaged me to say how awkward it was to find both of us online (so she spilled the beans!).

    I could see why a guy would be nervous or unresponsive running into someone from the website in public -- he might be afraid that she will blurt out something about OkCupid or Match.com in front of his buddies. To be fair, I'm sure there are some guys who would not care, nor do I personally.

    But a smile or a "hello" should be well recieved, even from someone who didn't necessarily show interest initially on the website. Sometimes it just takes the right situation to spark up a conversation!