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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Chance Encounters - You can online date, but you can't hide!

Why? Why is it when you break up with someone they always seem to make their way back into your life? My answer is that the world is too small and online dating makes it even smaller. You can online date, but you can't hide!

Chance Encounter 1:
My ex-boyfriend, who I dated for over a year and broke up with me days before my sister's wedding (see my ex-boyfriend peed on me entry), hadn't seen each other in about a year. I had started a new job and was looking for love online.
Me: Ooh! I have a message from someone! (log on).
Inbox: Letter from x-boyfriend. "Fancy meeting you here! Wow! We're a 97% match! Who knew?
Me: Inside my very annoyed head... "SERIOUSLY?? Um, we were together for a year."
Outbox: Letter from me back to ex-boyfriend. "Yeah. Damn that 3%, huh?"
Inbox: Radio Silence.

Chance Encounter 2:
The banker (see Friend Zone entry) who I met on Match. The banker is still a doll. Nice guy who I just didn't and don't want to have sex with. In an effort to find someone I do want to have sex with, I joined a high-end gym in LA. As I am there in my workout clothes and sporting my holiday winter weight, The banker walks in and says hello.
The banker: Hey! What are you doing here?
Me: Ya know, joining a gym. Good holiday (and other annoying small talk in front of gym membership girl)?
The banker: Yes, it was amazing.
Me: So, hey, since you're standing here... do you want my referral?
Membership girl: You get a free month!!
The banker: Sure, that would be awesome.
Me: Well, it's the least I can do to pay you back after all those nice dates that didn't really pan out for you. (yes, I actually said that as the membership girl starts to giggle)
The banker: Um, cool, thanks.
Me: Oooookay! Bye!

Chance Encounter 3:
Another online doozy! My little sister ran into a hot older guy that lives where we grew up this fall (Again, see my ex-boyf the pisser!). Apparently after reaching out to hot older guy on my own and not hearing back, I have discovered that he really only wanted to hit on my little married sister, than get my number. He is now on Match. We are a 90% match and I check him out everyday just to make him feel bad.

Chance Encounter 4-6:
I went to a school where the girls were kinda cute and the boys were so-so. Still, I always had a cute boyfriend or someone to make out with and have gorgeous girl friends. Either way, most of my friends didn't marry someone we went to school with, so it's no shock when I see them online. The funny thing is when they see YOU online! In the last three weeks, I have seen and been checked out by someone I made out with on Valentine's Day '99, someone I took condoms from for a sorority treasure hunt in '00 and then someone I dated briefly post college in '02, but I met in school. That's right girls, my sloppy seconds are up grabs on Match! Who wants 'em?

The thing that makes me laugh is that I live in a HUGE city, how can the internet (and one dating site) make the world so small?