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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Profile Tips from Me to Every Guy Out There!

I was asked to guest blog on Single City Guy's blog last week and wanted to post expanded tips here as well! I figure the more you know, the better luck you'll have of me not making fun of you! Recently I went on two dates in one week. I was excited about both.

They both looked cute in their online profiles and it seemed like we had a few things in common. Oh, how pictures can be deceiving! Neither date looked ANYTHING like his picture online. One guy even told me that his picture was 10-years-old! So, to help you guys (and girls!) out there who are also in the online dating world, here are a few profile tips to help find you your real match.

While all dating sites are different, the profile picture rules all remain in the same.

  1. Make sure your profile picture (and all other photos) has been taken in the past year and a half.
  2. Post a clear shot of your face, shoulders up. Stay away from professional headshots and profile photos. We want to see the real you!
  3. Steer clear of hats and sunglasses in your main photo. If you’re bald and/or cross-eyed we’re going to find out when we meet you in person anyways… no relationship should be based on lies.

** Girls! This is true for you too! Post of picture of what you look like now, not what you looked like 5 years and 20lbs ago. It’s not fair to either one of you! And… online dating sites are not a model search. Be yourself and maybe you’ll find your match.

Once you have your profile picture down, we would love to learn a little more about you. Some other tips include:

  1. Post of picture of something you love to do. Snowboarding, camping, etc. Then we know what kind of activities we’ll be doing together.
  2. If you have close relationships with your family and friends, post those pictures and don’t forget to label them. Sisters get mistaken for ex-girlfriends all the time.
  3. Do you have a pet? Show us! We need to know who else is shacking up with you!

Now some things you should stay away from:

  1. Please don’t post a picture of your penis. If we like you, don’t worry, we’ll see it!
  2. Don’t take a picture of yourself in your bathroom mirror with your iPhone or Blackberry. This makes you look like you have no friends. If you’re going to be online dating, you’re going to need pictures of you being you.
  3. Stay away from posting pictures of you and other girls. This can send the wrong message that you’re already taken.

With these simple photo rules you should be off to a good start in finding someone that really is your match!

My profile tips are easy too:

  1. Check your spelling and grammar. If YOU'RE not sure if you used the correct spelling of YOUR & YOU'RE or THEIR & THERE, google it.
  2. Please don't use "TEXT" language in your profile or when sending messages. You're sending an email, not a text and you have a full keyboard!
  3. Be specific of what you're looking for. If you just want to meet some new friends, say that. But, if you're actually looking for a relationship, we want to know that too. On that note, if you want to get laid, say you're looking for something "casual." Yes, there are girls out there who are looking for that too.
  4. Be honest. Tell us about YOU. Again, as stated above, it's never good to start a relationship off on lies.
  5. THINK about your intro. There are a few common lines you should stay away from. These include, "My mom thinks I'm a catch," "I can't believe I'm actually online dating," and "It's so hard to write a summary about yourself!" We're all in the same boat! Say something original!
  6. Don't state something you're not. I.e. You're not a foodie just because you like food and you're not "cultural" if you like Shark Week on TV (Just some examples I've run into!).
  7. Re-read your profile before you post it. If something sounds a little "off" we're going to think they same thing. But for us, "off" will mean creepy, weird and psycho killer.
  8. Don't try so hard to be funny/witty. Sarcasm and wit don't come across well in the written word. So write that you have a "sarcastic sense of humor," but save it for our date.
  9. Respond! When a girl reaches out to you and she's not what you're looking for, give the "no thanks" if you're comfortable. Then no one is sitting at home wondering if "he's just not that into you" we now know.
  10. Be you! (but, don't forget all of the other tips in the process)
  11. Be an active online dater. You can't just throw your profile up and hope your dream girl will swoon. You need to put in the effort to get what you're looking for.
Anything I missed? Happy online dating!


  1. NOOO!! I must refer you to here!! http://loveinthedumps.com/dating-dohnt-online-edition-pictures-of-you-kayaking/

  2. I've got a few I'd add to your list:

    1. In a picture, be aware of your surroundings - don't pose with your dirty dishes, a bunch of clutter, the toilet, piles of laundry, trash or anything else of the sort in the background. We look at all things in a picture for clues as to who you are and how you live, not just you!

    2. Wear a shirt in your pic - Unless you are actively involved in an outdoor activity or setting where no shirt might be typical or are only looking for a hook-up, this comes across as kind of sleazy.

    3. Be specific in your interests - Do not tell me you "like to eat good food", "go to good restaurants/see good movies/listen to good music", "have fun" or "hang out with friends". I don't think anyone wants to go out to a bad restaurant, eat awful food, and have a horrible time hanging out with enemies. Tell us what makes you unique!

    4. Most private thing - If you're on OKCupid, there is a question that says "What is the most private thing you are willing to admit here?" I'd say over half the profiles I have seen on there have answered this with some variation of "If I told you, it wouldn't be private." You are missing the point! They're not asking for blackmail material here, put something funny or entertaining!

    I'll probably have more, I've seen a LOT of weirdness out there!

  3. PlumpVixen - I like the way you think!

    Slinky - Occasionally Love in the Dumps and I disagree. This seems to be one of those times. If you're a guy who posts a picture of camping, I will know to stay away. A motel 6 is about as "campy" as I get. I think action shots at least show some personality.

  4. All great tips! I wish this was posted or sent as an intro to everyone when they first opened a profile on any online dating site. Sure, half the people won't even look at it, but maybe it would get through for some of the folks. No more bare-chested, mirror shots, please guys!