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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Will The Real Slim Shady Please Sit Down? Date 1

I was proud of myself this week. By Monday, I had scheduled not one, but TWO dates. One was from eharmony and the other from OK Cupid. (BTW, I still believe Cupid need archery lessons stat. His aim blows!)

These dates had a few things in common...
1. Neither of them looked anything like their photos in person
2. Both dates lasted in the 90 minute range
3. I didn't have chemistry with either of them

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Date 1: We'll call him Cameron as he looked a LOT like Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. In his picture he looked like a cute guy next door (it was a black and white, side view profile pic. I know, I should have known better!). I am NOT attracted to Cameron. At. All.

Cameron and I met for Happy Hour in Santa Monica. Santa Monica is about 30 mins from me and 2 mins from him.

Tip 1: Guys - come to the girls! Why should we have to come to you? We can drink more the closer we are to our own homes.

The minute I arrived Cameron couldn't stop telling me how pretty I was in person. I now think this is because we are on different dating levels.

Tip 2: Date in your dating level. Don't aim for the stars! Date someone who is your physical equal! Unless you have a lot of money or are famous and then all bets are off - especially in LA.

The minute Cameron and I sat down the conversation went like this...
Cameron: So, am I what you expected?
Me: Um, yeah, I guess. But, you definitely don't look like the original pic that is on your profile.
Cameron: Yeah. I've heard that from a few people. It's about 10 years old and from a friend's wedding.
Me: Hmmm... you might want to change that! *smiles*

Tip 3: All pictures on your profile should be taken within the last 2 years.

Cameron and I chatted, had a beer, ordered some sushi and continued to chat about our differences. I love sports. He does not. I love culture, art and musicals. He could do without. Then we started talking about our experiences in online dating. He jumped at the chance to tell me that he had another date set up for this week. Was he trying to make me jealous? My response was... "yay! Good for you! You need to see what is out there!"

94 mins later we were saying our thank you's and I was heading towards my car.

45 mins later I received an email on my iPhone from Cameron.
"You can tell right away if there's chemistry. So, what did you senses tell you? Be honest."

OMG. Seriously? If you have to send an email asking if we have chemistry it's obviously not there!

I responded:
"Hmmmm... That is kind of an awkward question! I think you're a really nice guy, but I have to admit I definitely didn't feel any chemistry and we don't have much in common. But, I really enjoyed meeting you and chatting. I have to say that you might want to update your profile a bit with a little more info about who you are. Then maybe you'll find the perfect match! What were you thinking? Please feel free to be honest back!"

"Yeah. I could tell we didn't have a connection. Too bad. I guess I'll go back to the well."

And now onto Date 2...


  1. I don't get it... if you 2 clearly have nothing in common, how the H did you end up on a date?

    If/when I start internet dating, I'm picking a so-so picture of me... so expectations get blown out of the water at first glance! ;)

  2. Ha! On paper it seems like you have things in common and then when you meet you talk about a whole lot more than what is in your profile. I don't like to chat with someone too much before I meet them - I'd prefer to meet someone in person right off the bat and see if there is any spark. Obviously, there was NONE. Back to the well! Teehee!

  3. Wow, talk about #conversationskillsfail. "Am I what you expected?" In my experience, if a woman walks in and gets the "OMG He's freakin HOT" vibe, she mentions it within the first 30 seconds, then commences giggling, blushing, and playing with her hair [This is clear hyperbole].


    I fear that this is probably 95% of men who do online dating. They are online because they are socially inept IRL. One of my friends was the king of seducing girls via AOL chat rooms. Take him to a bar and he was a statute. Get a girl to talk to him, talk about fumble.

  4. Did I say statute instead of statue? #commentfail

  5. I agree! Anyone who asks.. "am I what you expected?" is NOT.

  6. That's a great story. Clearly, he needs some TLC on dating 101!