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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Peter Pan in Never Never Land, You're a Dick

Living in LA, you're bound to meet one of the many "lost boys" we have here in Never Never Land. One word of advice, just don't call Mr. Pan "Peter" to his face.

So... last Friday night Elle Taylor (fellow blogger, singleton and dear friend!), was visiting from out of town. We cheers'd to LA beach sunset with a bottle of champagne and hit the town for a good dinner.

We walked into a great restaurant that I frequent often and it was packed. While Elle hung out by the front door putting our name in, I zipped over to the bar where I saw two open seats. There were full waters at the bar and a guy in his early 30s standing near them, but the seats were open. Said Peter Pan and his lost boy friend were talking up the younger girls at a nearby table. The convo went something like this...

"Excuse me. Are you guys using these seats?"
"Um, why?" says Peter.
"My girlfriend and I wanted to grab a quick dinner."
"Who's your girlfriend?" He asked like he knew her from somewhere.
"Right there, by the front door. The cute one." I say while pointing to Elle.
"Let me consult with my friend" says Peter.

WTF? Seriously??? My eye rolls back in my head as steam comes out of my ears.

"What? Seriously?" I ask.
"Yeah. I think we're going to keep these seats."

Oh, no he didn't!

"Thanks, dude." I say as snarkily as possible as I walk away.

Elle meets up with me at the bar and asks me what happened. I retell the story as we turn into bitchy, PMSy, psycho paths.

Two minutes later, I run into the owner of the restaurant (whom I know and love) and he hooks us up with a table stat. Unfortunately, this table is the table that the girls were sitting at that Peter and his lost boy were talking up.

As they get up and we go to sit down, Peter comes back at me for more.

"We're leaving, you can have those seats now if you want them." says Peter.
"Yeah. No Thanks. We got a table."
"Did I do something to piss you off?"
"Seriously? You're a dick." I've gotten started and now I can't stop.
"What? I said you can have the seats."
"Yes, after you told me I couldn't, two seconds after you checked out my friend. Dick move."

Annoying Girl from table interjects to Peter, "It's your birthday, lets get out of here."

"Can I at least buy you guys a drink or something?" says Peter
"No, thanks. Peter Pan. We don't want anything from you."
"You don't owe them anything. This was obviously a misunderstanding."
"Yeah. No, it wasn't. Your friend here told me we couldn't sit in the seats he wasn't using after he checked out my friend. Not cool."

(Sidebar: Elle is gorgeous!) Elle is now laughing and ready to get my back if I have to take out Annoying Girl.

"Lets get out of here" says Annoying Girl.
"Happy Birthday! You have a great rest your night." I say as I fist pump Peter in the chest. Yes, I realize if I was a guy, I would've just gotten decked.

"Do you realize that you would have just gotten your ass kicked?" says Elle. "You called him Peter Pan to his face and then fist pumped him in the chest while wishing him a Happy Birthday. Bwahahaha! Well, cheers to us!"

Oh, liquid courage. How you continually steer me the wrong way!


  1. You've got to expose the restaurant! what was it?? I used to live in LA...

  2. I can't... I love it there too much! But... it's in the South Bay. The "Peter's" in the South Bay speak for themselves! Thanks for reading!

  3. emily, it's such a strange thing to be back in socal (i just landed in john wayne visiting for the weekend). having grown up in OC myself and now living in colorado, it's two completely different worlds! i've been sitting in starbucks in irvine working for the past 4 hours and i can't count on two hands the number of: 1) fake boobs, 2) fake tans, 3) fake people. ole pete sounds like he ranks right up there with the un-reality that is southern california!