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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

What does "I don't drink" on Match, really mean?

Yes, I went on another amazing date that is blog worthy. First a little info about me and my drinking habits that will help you truly appreciate this story. I started drinking when I was in high school. I wasn't out of control, but definitely knew how to pump a keg and had mastered fooling my parents by 16. I was also fortunate enough to have a friend who didn't drink and therefore had a sober driver throughout my high school years.

In college I was in a sorority and continued my partying ways at every date dash, formal and Thursday night possible. On my 21st birthday I had 19 shots (followed responsibly by water consumption) and didn't throw up (kids, don't try this at home). Yes, I have eased up since. I have a job and with age, my hangovers have gotten so bad I have curbed the binge drinking. Now, that I'm 30, I have 2 glasses of wine and know I can't drive. But, that doesn't mean I don't love my wine. (My brother-in-law is in the wine business, so family dinners and an amazing zin go hand-in-hand.)

With that said, I am open to dating someone that doesn't drink. Maybe they are super healthy? Maybe they just partied too much in their younger years and have had enough? Either way, it's not a deal breaker for me as long as they are okay with the fact that they will have to drive me home after social events and family functions. Hey, my sister's husband didn't really drink when he met her and now parties up it with our family like a pro.

Now you know... I like my wine.

So, I met AA (ironically, those really are his initials. Maybe I should have seen the signs then!) on match. He was cute, we had great IM conversations and decided to meet in person after a few emails and chats. I am now aware that there were a few things I ignored... by reading his profile you could tell he was part of a "program." (Again, I'm okay with that!) Also, his friends in his Facebook and profile pictures were all very "diverse." Not a problem either, but another sign?

We decided to meet for brunch and I made a reservation at a cute place down by the beach. I saw someone that resembled AA in front of the restaurant... and again, my date doesn't look like his picture at all. (WHEN WILL I LEARN!?) All I can say is that his profile pic was a REALLY GOOD PIC.

Off to brunch we went. The date was going really well until we played the "getting to know you" game. AA started talking about his rough teenage years when he used to huff paint. Yes, you read that correctly. HUFF PAINT. Definitely not first date chat, but now I was intrigued and wanted to know more.

AA, shocked at his own openness, continued to tell me about how he was featured on a documentary about overdosing on heroine and then went on to tell me about the several rehabs he's frequented. At this point, I'm thinking, maybe he's not getting a love connection either and just feels like he wants to share his story with someone? But, the real thing I keep thinking is... "can someone get me a cocktail? STAT."

AA and I finish up brunch, but his story isn't over. I want more. What happened after the rehab stints? AA, how are you doing now? I was a junkie to his tale...

We decided to take a walk and get a cookie at a cute little bakery next store. Cookie in hand, AA tells me about how he conquered his demons when he was dropped off on skid row and had to detox while learning to live clean from people on the streets. I wanted to hug him and tell him how proud I was of him, but the story continued...

As a girl who grew up in California in the age of STDs, I wanted to know if he was "healthy." I mean shooting up for 10 years can spread some serious stuff, no? It seemed like we had touched on everything else, so I just blurted it out and asked. He told me that he, in fact, infected with hepatitis. I felt like I was being punked. Ashton where are you? Come on... what kind of first date is this?

We parted ways with a hug, I thanked him for a great brunch and IMed a few more times later that week. This date was a life lesson on many levels... 1. If they don't drink, they are probably not for me. 2. Yes, you can reveal too much on a first date and 3. There are some amazing people out there and we just have to give them a chance. Ooooh, lets not forget 4. I like my wine.


  1. Again, too funny...I totally agree on the drinking thing. I enjoy a glass of wine and if they don't drink AT ALL, that is sort of a sticking point. I'd always feel guilty drinking IN FRONT of them!

  2. yeah i've been on a few of those. They are like, "hey, YOU can drink all you want!" It's just weird.

  3. I don't trust people that don't drink. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

  4. funny post but i never got to the end. shorten them up a bit. i too am a culprit of the long blog post.

  5. Thanks for the comments! I know this one was long, but the story is even longer! Sometimes for a good story you need to include the nitty gritty :)