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Thursday, April 29, 2010

Attack of the Techies and Engineers!

In my online quest to find true love, I recently decided to expand my dating pool and try eharmony. Now, morally I have an issue with the fact that eharmony doesn't "match" people of the same sex looking for love (Prop 8 = hate!), but I needed to set that aside for purely selfish reasons and see if my 1 TRU LUV was just on another dating site.

I don't think I'm looking for anyone unrealistic. As I have gotten older, I've gotten a little less specific as to what I want in a mate. Yes, I still have a few purely aesthetic needs like my future baby's daddy being over 6', brown hair, light eyes, etc. (that way we'll make cute kids!). But, there are also some honest to God necessities such as having a job, being somewhere between 30-40, athletic, etc. that, I think, shouldn't be too hard to come by. Right?

So, I joined eharmony about 2 weeks ago. If eharmony was a bar I would have just walked into the Consumer Electronic Show. That's right girls, I have been attacked by IT guys and engineers. And... even online they still don't know how to talk to girls. Maybe that's why eharmony has the extremely SLOW process of sending questions and must have's and can't have's back and forth so these socially inept men don't have to talk for themselves.

In 2 weeks of being on eharmony, 70% of the men I have been matched with have been in the "tech" field. I guess this is better than actors, but really? Boy next door guys? Hello? Where are you? (I can tell you they don't live next door.)

I figured I can't be the only one this is happening to so I did a little research. eharmony's chat boards are hilarious! This is what I found... "I've noticed that the majority of the matches eH has sent me are engineers. I wonder if there are just a lot of engineers on eH in general or if it has something to do with my answers to eH's questionnaire? I've met some of them in real life, but the one's I've met have been shy or quiet. I'm curious if that's been the case with other women using eH? Are most of your matches engineers?"

This string of comments goes on for days with women saying that most of the men they are matched with are in are techie, engineer types who are shy and passive.

I've come to the conclusion that if I'm going to find love on eharmony (which a few of my friends have), these boys are going to have to man up. Send some emails and practice being outgoing. Only time will tell! (And it will take time... those of you on eharmony know how long it takes to finally talk to someone in person!)

I'm not giving up hope on eharmony... yet...


  1. Wow,I would never have thought about it, but I can see how it could be true. The internet makes it easier for some of these men to initiate a conversation with a woman (something they can't come close to in real life). Sites like eHarmony do make that easier, but, if you are too scared to go up and say hi to that cute girl smiling at you, how the hell are you supposed to have a decent conversation.


  2. Right? I'm thinking I might make MAN-UP t-shirts and sell them on this blog. It's all us cute girls smiling at you really want :)

  3. So so so true! The emails from guys on eH are painful. So forced, not genuine and (for me) not matches. I am outgoing and social- I have been matched with shy introverts. I thought I answered questions wrong. SO glad it's not just me :)

  4. Interesting to hear! I eHarmony is the only popular dating site I haven't tried yet. However, two coworkers both met their now-husbands on eH and their husbands are very outgoing, social, normal and NOT techies/engineers - but they are successful! :)

  5. Hey, Emily, love the blog. But, i'm a an LA match.com techy/engineer who also 'mans up' and has a clue... We're not all socially awkward.

    I'd consider the engineer part a benefit.. hey i just bought a brand new car, and i own my own place... Hawaii next weekend?

  6. Ben. I totally agree with you! I used to live in SF and have dated several engineers (google guy, pay palers, etc.)... unfortunately, the ones e-harmony keeps setting me up with are KILLING me. Maybe it's the uber-religious techies that I'm disliking?

    I'm not anti smart, manly engineers who have drive and want to take me on a romantic vacay, but I'm bummed about the ones who can't man-up.