And I Wonder Why I'm Not Married?

Apparently boys are instilled with some kind of fear of marriage at a young age? I kid, but seriously, how funny is the little girl? She could care less. It's her way or the highway and just continues to go about her day (while cleaning up a bit!).

If you need me, I'll be in online dating rehab...

As many of you know, I quit Match.com cold turkey last week. This week I have hidden my profile on OK Cupid and this morning, I deleted the apps. If you need me, I'll be in online dating Rehab.

About a month ago, I started to think that I was spending more time trying to find someone online than I was just being myself and experiencing all LA has to offer in the summer. The real kicker was when I discovered that in the morning I wake up, check my email, twitter, facebook and online dating sites before I ever get out of bed. I knew I was addicted.

No. The madness must stop. But, it's harder than I thought it was going to be. Kind-of like seeing the little red light blink on your blackberry when you have an email or your iPhone chime when you have a text, I think I have a physical response to seeing if someone is checking me out online. When I get an email from an online dating site, a little burst of happiness goes through my head (that is, until I realize he is in his 50s and lives in Maine. But still, it's nice to be wanted). Is this a new addiction that can actually happen in our world?

I started doing a little research and apparently, I'm not the only one. The blog, Thoughts on Dating wrote this... "Online dating can be as addictive as anything else because when you make a connection with someone online, it makes the same chemicals in your brain react as if you had taken a drug. The same thing happens to runners and drug addicts. It’s how they become addicted. You aren’t addicted to the online dating, per-se, but you are addicted to the feeling it produces. The endorphins that are released, the feel good chemical, can take control of your life and make you continue doing what it was that released the chemical to begin with. Just in this case it happens to be online dating and not Pot."

There's even a woman who wrote a book about her experience as an online dating junkie.

Yes, I think that's what I have! But, like any other addiction, there is withdrawal and angst when you can't get your fix. The last week or so has made me question my decision and whether I can find "the one" without being online. I go to the gym everyday and am out 3-4 nights a week with friends and family, so there is the possibility, but have I been leaning on my online dating crutch too long?

We'll find out. Starting today, I'm totally cold turkey. No apps (which are really what have sucked me in!) and all accounts have been frozen (not deleted, I don't what to fill out all those questionnaires again!).

Bets on how long it takes me to get my first date internet free? Anyone else out there addicted? Would love to hear your story and would love some male perspective! Email me at mylifeonmatch@gmail.com.

Happy Friday!

Ps. I'm not going to get a date tonight. I'm headed to west hollywood for an art opening. Another night of hot guys checking out other hot guys. At least there will be eye candy.

My DREAM guy - The list!

Everyone says that when you put something you want out there in the universe it is more likely to come true. Well, I'm going to put this to the test. I put together the characteristics I would like in my dream man. Yes, some of these things are negotiable, but I'm talking DREAM man here, not some Joe Shmoe off the street!

Here it is:

Over 6'

Dark hair (light eyes are a huge plus)

Has drive (family and job)

College graduate

Creative

Can carry an intellectual conversation

Challenges me

Up-to-date with news and pop culture

Social drinker

Doesn't smoke

2-6 yrs older than me

Has siblings and a relationship with his family

Physically fit

Likes to play and watch sports

Finds me sexy

Loves me for who I am and the way I am

Likes the arts (museums, plays, etc.)

Enjoys good food & going out to dinner

Wants kids

Likes dogs and doesn't have a cat

Financially stable

Lives in or wants to live in Southern California

Romantic/chivalrous

Honest

Loyal

Good communicator (email, phone, in person)

Has a career

Likes music (even country)

Complimentary

Is funny/ has a good sense of humor

Is affectionate

Likes my family

Has good teeth

Is kind

Has good manners

Is outgoing (doesn't need to be entertained in a group)

Has his own circle of friends

Has traveled (even a little)

If I had to compare him to a TV character, I would probably want to date Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother.

Is this too much to ask? Probably, but I'm throwing it out there anyway! This is what my ideal guy would look like...

Ok, universe, do your magic!

When Match.com Comes to LIFE...

A few weeks ago, I was invited to a birthday party. The hostess is a party planner, so I knew the party was going to be top shelf. We all met at this great bar on the west side and got table service (it was hilarious... like we were in Vegas!). I was expecting to have a few too many drinks and do a little dancing, but wasn't expecting my online dating world to literally be staring back at me.

It was like I was in Where the Wild Things Are... many of the men I had seen online were now standing in front of me. Match.com had COME TO LIFE.

So, my girlfriends and I did what all smart girls since they have seen Clueless - we did several laps of the bar before committing to a location. Unfortunately, our location was in the boondocks. But, as we walked around I had a story for each man...

Man 1: I think he is perfect for me. He apparently does not. He was wearing a wedding ring in one of his photos. I emailed him and asked if he was married. The pictured was cropped. So, I know he read my email, but never responded!

Man 2: Friends with Man 1 and in a few pictures together. Very good looking, but again, didn't email me back.

Man 3: Looked familiar, but didn't look exactly like he did online. I have never reached out to him.

Man 4: Is definitely online, but looks like he is there with a girlfriend. Or at least she thinks she is his girlfriend.

So... what do you do when you actually run into people that you have checked out online? After my lap I went back to stand next to them at the bar and the cute boys had vanished.

But, this also happens to me almost everyday at the gym. Match and OkCupid bounce off the internet walls and end up in my spin class. It's kinda awkward to see someone who has checked out your profile riding next to you. Do you give them the nod or literally wink? ha!

I'm in a bind and would love some advice... Say something? Ignore? Pretend like you didn't see them online? What does one do in this situation?

It's time for coffee talk - comments are encouraged!

The online dating scam - real or fake?

A few weeks ago there was a special on 20/20 on online dating scams. Did anyone see it? I happen to be at my mom's that night. Thanks to my crush, Mr. Chris Cuomo, she is now convinced I'm getting conned by men in Ghana who pose as hottie military men in need of cash every month. Luckily, she is wrong, but she is right because there are some not nice people out there. In case you missed it, recap here.

So, this brings me to the emails. Do women (or men for that matter) know immediately in an email that someone is "not really in it for love?" Take this email for instance... I read this and immediately thought, "this has got to be a computer automated scam." But, maybe some people aren't so savvy?

NICE PROFILE.
NICE PROFILE YOU DISPLAYED ON HERE. TRYING TO EXHIBIT THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES. I THINK I FIND IT RATHER FASCINATING BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST TO KEEP CALM LOOK CLOSELY BEFORE TAKING A DIVE. SO IN ALL I CAN SAY... A NICE PICS YOU'VE GOT TOO. BUT THERE'S ONE MORE THING
I'D LIKE TO KNOW. AND THAT IS IF A GENTLE MAN IS WELCOME IN YOUR WORLD? I HOPE NOT BECAUSE A TRUE EXPLORER SHOULD BE READY FOR THE DANGERS AND PLEASURES OF LIFE. WELL I'M Alan William.... AND I HAPPEN TO BE SINGLE AND NEVER MARRIED .. IF IT'S OK BEING FRIENDS WHY DON'T YOU MAIL ME TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS SO I CAN WRITE MORE ABOUT ME. THE REASON IS
THAT AM NOT A FREQUENT SUBSCRIBER ON HERE . GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST PART BUT I SEE THAT COURAGE IN YOU FROM HERE. THROUGH YOUR EYES.TO INCLUDE THIS ADDYDUM I LIKE TO CLEAR THAT DISTANCE/NATIONALITY DOES NOT TRANSCEND IN RELATIONSHIP NOT EVEN AGE IS CONSIDERED A FACTOR.IF INTERESTED AFTER YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH MY
PROFILE LEAVE A MESSAGE. LOOK AROUND YOU, AREN'T YOU HAVING THE CUTEST PICTURE ON match I VOTE YOU'VE GOT THE MOST MAGICAL SMILE I'VE EVER SEEN IN RECENT TIMES... I MAY NOT BE MR. PERFECT I AM Alan AND I HAPPEN TO NEED THE RIGHT WOMAN AROUND.CONTACT ME HERE ON (Personal email address)
CHEERS..Alan

So this is definitely fake. For one it's in all caps. Who does that? Secondly, his name is not in all caps. Weird? Yes. Third? His profile is GONE. Two days after he sent this email his profile has disappeared. Lastly, his English is tortured. Everyone who follows me on twitter knows how much I appreciate good grammar in an email on an online dating site. Don't write me in text language unless we are texting (or tweeting).

So, guys and girls out there, beware of the scam, but be smart. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck (oh, and asks you for cash), it probably is a creepy conman from Ghana (according to 20/20 - not me!).