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Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sexter Update! (and the future of Sexting?)

My tweeple know that The Sexter is on my shit list. He came back from a few weeks away and I have discovered he can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.

When he returned, sexts picked up right where they left off. Things were hot and heavy until his impromptu visit to my office. He stopped by, said hi and left. Now, this is not how I saw things going in my mind? I pictured things getting pushed off my desk as I was being pushed onto it! No, that didn't happen.

When I texted him later that afternoon saying... "Seriously? Hi? Bummed to know you can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk. Slam me against a wall and have your way with me or stop texting me. This is getting boring."

His response? "Maybe it's better it just fantasize." OH. NO. HE. DIDN'T! Now, this would be one thing if we had never met, but he not only knows what I look like, but has known me for 10 years!

So... back to the grind. Or at least I thought... Apple is trying to eff my new sexting hobby too! Thank God, I'm not 16.

A patent (filed in 2008) was just approved for "systems, devices, and methods" of filtering "text-based messages" based on "objectionable content." You know: Sexting and my recent pastime. This iPhone app can now help overbearing parents control their children's text messages and email. Again, THANK God I'm not 16 and didn't live in the age of text messages in high school.

Here's the text of the patent:
"Systems, devices, and methods are provided for enabling a user to control the content of text-based messages sent to or received from an administered device. In some embodiments, a message will be blocked (incoming or outgoing) if the message includes forbidden content. In other embodiments, the objectionable content is removed from the message prior to transmission or as part of the receiving process. The content of such a message is controlled by filtering the message based on defined criteria. The criteria may be defined according to a parental control application. These techniques also may be used, in accordance with instructional embodiments, to require the administered devices to include certain text in messages. These embodiments might, for example, require that a certain number of Spanish words per day be included in e-mails for a child learning Spanish "

In my day, I would have found a way to get around this. For example, my friends and I used to refer to the liquor store as the "library" and beer as "books." My parents probably caught on, but it took them a few tries. So, my guess is that teens will figure out ways to get around content-blocking, like using different words, or, say, picking up the phone and calling their sexters.

I also don't get the whole "Spanish" thing...

As a fun little comment game, post your favorite sext to get around this new app. I dare you.

If I was a teen I would sext something like... "I can't wait rub your corn cob between my chest pillows." Bwhahahaha!


  1. That's why most couples that cheat use Words with Friends. ;)

  2. I was very envious of your sexting relationship because I'd never had one. That changed last night. I was texting back and forth with a girl I met a few weeks back. We'd gone to lunch once but I was feeling more of a friendship vibe. Well, we have plans to spend Saturday together. And while discussing the arrangements, flirting led to all out "tell me what you're going to do to me" and what's your favorite position conversation! It was freaking HOT! All I can say is I hope we both can live up to what we were sexting. Wish me luck!!