The Flying Dutchman!

Many people have asked me how I feel about going dutch on a first date... Well, here's a story that will give you your answer.

A few weeks ago I went on a date with a guy. We'll call him The Flying Dutchman. We met on How about we? (A site I love, but not enough people are using!). We planned to meet up for a drink, but he obviously didn't get my dating memo (many of you know, I'm not a huge fan of dinner for a first date) and made plans for dinner. Fine... dinner it is.

A little about him: He is a few years younger (JUST turned 30), and acted young. No real life experience, wasn't much of a conversationalist, and answered questions instead of asking them. Don't get me wrong, he was a really nice guy, but someone I wanted to set up with someone else after the first 5 minutes into our date (which I did, btw. Blog on that coming soon!).

Back to dinner. I ordered a glass of wine ($9) and soup ($7). He had a beer ($6) and tacos ($18). As our conversation started to lack and I was running out of questions to ask the bill came. The waitress put it in between us. A few questions then began running through my head...

1. Shouldn't a waitress know better? Give it to the guy and then let the girl offer to pay!
2. Does paying for the bill have anything to do with who asks who out on the date?
3. Is it okay to split the bill if you're just getting drinks, but who should pay when it's a full on dinner? Then, what happens who you order appetizers to go with your drinks on a whim?

After 15 minutes I gave up and reached for the bill. As I was reaching The Flying Dutchman beat me to it.

Him: Staring at the check for a good few 3 minutes without grabbing for his wallet.

Me: "Why don't we just split it?" I always offer!

Him: "Well, you had the soup and wine. With tip and tax that will be about $20. Cool?"

Me: "um, Ok." Damn me for being polite!

I guess it's better that he charged me for what I ate than just splitting it down the middle, but seriously, it was horrible. I'm thinking I might start a 30-something dating charm school for men. Lesson 1: Did you mother teach you NOTHING? Pay for the first date!

Now, before all you boys get pissy, please note that while I expect a guy to pay for the first date, I still always offer to pay, always pay for or make dinner once date 3-4 comes around and always make up for it in other ways. I'm a team player when it comes to dating, but do like a little chivalry now and then. (Looks like I'm not the only one! Do a google search for Dutch dating and it's like you typed in the word Boobs. Pages and pages of female bloggers comment about their dutch dating disasters, like miss Mimosas and Grits (two of my favorite things!).

The Geography of Online Dating

As we know, different sites attract different people. But, what I didn't know is that this foray in online dating love is just a big geography game!

For example... while I have found that eharmony in Los Angeles is full of IT guys and techies, it apparently attracts a totally different kind of guy on the East Coast. Another observation? OK Cupid is crawling with "aspiring actors" and "filmmakers" in Los Angeles, but is a engineer's dream in North Carolina.

So, what gives? Are there just different guys out there who are willing to try online dating or are they looking for something more specific? Are "aspiring actors" just looking for their next meal in LA and are the Techies looking for someone to bring home to the family for the holidays?

I feel like I have a good grasp on the online dating game, but am stumped with this one. Is the key to finding love opening up my mind to a cross country romance? Remember, I think driving to Orange County from LA is a long distance relationship.

I need to know... what does each site offer you in your town? When we get more specifics, I'll add them to the map. As of now we have Peter Pans, Aspiring Actors/Filmmakers, Cowboys/All-American Men, Techies/Engineers and Ex-Frat Guys/Sports Fans. Am I missing anything?

Boys, don't worry, I'm happy to make a map for you. What's out there? Is Plenty of fish full of potential one-night-stands? Do the girls on OK Cupid not leave enough to the imagination? Spill.

I Don't Drink - Take 2. Introducing... Cheap Water Guy!

Because I didn't learn my lesson the first time!

After the arduous task of going through the eharmony communication steps, I finally met one of my matches (we'll call him Water Guy) in person. We planned on meeting for drinks at a local restaurant. A few minutes before leaving, I checked his profile one last time for info... It was starring me in the face... I DON'T DRINK. Huh? Why did he agree to drinks?

I texted him immediately asking if he wanted to switch to something without alcohol... Starbucks? Maybe Pinkberry? Water Guy kindly declined and said he was on his way. A few minutes before we were supposed to meet Water Guy called... He was lost. Literally, he was around the corner and couldn't find the restaurant. Dr. Google? Calling for a consultation on the smart phone? You there? The date was definitely off to an interesting start!

Finally Water Guy arrived and we were met by the waitress. I ordered a glass of wine (he might not drink, but you know I do!) and he ordered WATER. Not bottled water, the water that they offer you when you sit down.

An hour later, after he had pitched me how great he and his family are the conversation was winding down and Water Guy was still drinking water (his glass had been refilled several times). This got me thinking... If I hadn't ordered wine we would have been kicked out of the bar, no? The bill came and Water Guy completely ignored it. I gave him one more try to redeem himself, but after 5 minutes I gave up. I paid for my wine, said thank you for the evening and left.

The whole way home I couldn't help thinking... 1. Aaron Karo would be ashamed of you and 2. I hope Water Guy has to pee the whole way home.