I Didn't Know He Was a BIG Deal!

For the past few months I have had a little side job in LA. Long story short, my office burnt down (yup, you read that right) and I have been working from home. Family friends heard my tale of woe and asked if I could come work from their house a few days of weeks and take care of the dogs.

So, I've gone from executive to puppy-sitter since my fiery disaster, but it gives me a chance to get out of my house and try something new.

Enter, neighbor from next door. Nice guy. In his late late 30s. Always has a house full of characters and apparently just had a new baby.

Nice Guy says hi the minute he moves in. He tells me that he is renting the house next door for the next few months while he is looking to buy a place.

The first thing that goes through my head, "Ok, Nice Guy has MONEY." Think private beach in Malibu kinda cash.

So, for the last 6 weeks Nice Guy has been stopping by, saying hi, asking me about houses he has seen and is genuinely a really nice guy. I like spending time with him and want him to hang out more. But, he is reserved, quite and oh, that's right, just had a baby. (Yes, I met baby mama and baby when they moved in, but haven't seen them since).

As the weeks pass, I start getting curious about Nice Guy. Where does this money come from? What does he do for a living? Why the hell is he talking to me?

So, I googled Nice Guy. I know you all are shocked it took this long, but I didn't think he was a big deal. I'm not going to say who he is, but "big deal" in his industry doesn't even cover it.

So, now I know he's a big deal. But, he doesn't know that I know he's a big deal. Sound like a friends episode? We've got 2 weeks of neighboring left... I'm eager to see how this one is going to play out. Any advice?

My Sexting Cherry Has Been Popped

I still don't really know how this happen. One day I was a sexting virgin and the next day I'm sending things in texts I wouldn't do in real life... Who is this slutty girl and how the hell did she get her hands on my iPhone? Oh, wait... that scandalous sexting girl is me!

So, the last week has been filled with confusion, dates and sexts all having almost nothing to do with each other.

Lets start with the sexting. Midweek I went on a lunch date with a guy friend. I guy I have known for ages. I even dated one of his friends. We were going to lunch because I wanted to set him up with one of my friend's friends. Somewhere between lunch and getting back to our offices (a 5-minute walk) the emails began. Over the afternoon, the emails were flirty, fun and a little risque. Once day turned to night the emails turned to sexts.

If you were in my apartment with me, my face would have looked something like this...

Two days and 562 texts sent and received later, my face looked like this:

Over the weekend I slowly turned into Pavlov's dog of sexting. I would hear the ding of texts coming in and all of the blood would rush down to my nether region. Words like naughty, tits, and cock were filling me head. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no saint, but I'm not a one-night-stand kind-of-girl either.

In the midst of all of this, I'm also getting completely PG texts from a guy I've been out with a few times (we'll call him the Banker). The Banker is so nice, great on paper and "hopes I'm having a great day" every morning. The problem? I'm not all that physically attracted to him (although he is a good kisser). And all I can think about is getting slammed against a wall letting sexting boy have his way with me.

No, I haven't seen sexting boy in person since our lunch, but our sexts sessions have been wild and have taken place everyday from about noon to two and then 9-11 every night for almost a week.

It's like I have a devil and angel on my shoulders and need to make a decision... or I could just play this whole thing out and see what happens. The nice guy who wants to take me on dates and tells me I'm pretty or the sexter or wants me to send him pics of my boobs, but gets me all hot and bothered (yes, he is cute and has a job)?

Also... have you noticed that when it rains, it pours? No dates all of August and now I have 4 set up for next week. This dating/sexting this is exhausting, but you won't hear my complaining!

I wanna hear everyone's take on sexting. I'm still trying to figure out how it's such a huge fad with teens. Are they THAT sexually active that they have the knowledge of what to sext or do they just watch a lot of porn and follow the leader? Just so you know, phrases like "you naughty, dirty girl" are SO passe.

Are "pseudo plans" the new way to stand someone up?

Today was an interesting day... I got in a bitch fight with technology. I tried to switch the domain name from blogspot to www.mylifeonmatchandmore.com (it's now working! waddup!?) and in a flash all of the comments from two years of blogging disappeared. This was all happening as I was waiting, not patiently, for an email to come through about my date tonight.

I have been chatting with a guy on eharmony for a while (yes, again, I made it through the "communication stages" and felt like Atreyu finally making it to the Oracle in The Never Ending Story) and we had been emailing back and forth. He had emailed on Monday. He told me that he had gotten sick over the weekend, but was doing his best to be better by Thursday when we were supposed to "get together." As I do with most emails, I responded later that day saying, "Yes, Thursday still works. What's the plan?"

RADIO SILENCE.

Seriously? So, I woke up this morning wondering... "Do I have a date tonight?"

This got me thinking... are pseudo plans just another nice (but, not so nice) way to blow someone off? It makes a girl get her hopes up (along with her nails done) and then NOTHING. So, thinking I had nothing to lose, I emailed this am... "Hey there, I never heard back from you. What's the plan Stan?" (No, Stan is not his name, but we can call him that if you like.)

At 4pm (that's right people... 4!!!) Stan emailed an apology and asked if maybe we could get together sometime this weekend because he still wasn't feeling great. Oh, and PS. sorry to have dropped the email ball.

Again, I really feel like I have nothing to lose. What's the worst that's going to happen (besides getting cut up in little pieces and left in the woods by a crazed online dater!?)? I figure the worst is that I'll be uninterested and have to buy my own wine again. I'm 30... been there, done that.

So, the email game is back on. But, my question remains... Are the pseudo plans just a new way to "stand up" someone or are people just really that busy that they can't commit to something in advance? I hate that I'm a planner (my legs don't shave themselves!), but hope someday someone will love me for it.

UPDATE! Blackberry Messenger is NOT an OK form of communication

UPDATE from Tall Guy. 6 weeks passed. I'm beyond OVER IT. But, apparently Tall Guy is not. So, during a relaxing night of Gossip Girl and trying to find the real-life Ted from How I Met Your Mother, I get a message via Facebook. "Friend Request: Tall Guy"

Seriously? You can't talk to me over the phone, but you want to be Facebook friends? Um, no. So, I ignore. A fews days later the texting begins...

Tall Guy: Do u not want to be my facebook friend :( ?

Me: Nope. Look? You have my number. You can always CALL and ask me out. (yes, I know I'm being kinda lame here, but honestly. This is getting to be ridiculous.)

Tall Guy: I want to see you again.

Me: Then, pick up the phone, call me, and ask me out. I'm around next week.

Tall Guy: Ok! :)

Yes, smiley face turned around in that convo! Go me!

A WEEK later... now, I'm just effing with him. I'm not desperate and don't need to go out with someone who obviously isn't into me. This is beyond annoying. When someone likes you they call. I'm not 15 anymore and I have a cell. It's not like he has to worry about my dad answering.

Me: Shocker, you didn't call.

Tall Guy (seconds later): Here's the deal: I'm attracted to u - and want to see u again. So, I will call u. Right now I'm at the gym. But if u will give me another chance...

Me: One more chance, don't eff it up.

Update: It's been another 2 weeks. No call. Ah, the life of dating. Girls, I know you're jealous.

Introducing... Elle Taylor, fellow online dater

Exciting news! I've brought on a co-pilot! Elle is also a serial online dater. Having experienced eHarmony, Match.com and more, she has too many stories to not be blogging. So, please welcome her to mix. She is 30, lives in Northern California and is still looking for Mr. Right (although has some great stories with Mr. Right Now.)

Farts and Relationships

From the movie Love and Other Disasters. Not the best movie, but this clip tells it like it is. "Relationships are best measured by farting."

The Online Dating Inbox!

One of the things I love about online dating are some of the very brave emails you receive. While I'm much more inclined to wink away, I give major props to the guys who send an email to say hello. I have, however, received some emails interesting emails over the years as well.

One guy sent me an email telling me what a bitch I was for only looking for a Caucasian "match." As you know on Match.com you are looking for your "match." I kinda like geeky, athletic, white guys. Don't get me wrong, I find men of many ethnicities hot, but I have decided that someone who is a mix of Ted, Barney and Marshall (How I Met Your Mother on CBS!) to be perfect for me.

As you know, online, the email is your first impression. So, the introductory email can be a bit scary!

Here's one that I received recently.

"Hello!

I hope you are fine and doing well, I look at your profile and really sound interested you look so pure I mean your look show that you have pure soul with lots of attractive in your appearance. If you are interested to know each other I would be so lucky really. I am new here in the area and would like to start new valuable serious strong friendship and let's see what can be there further..... whatever it was the kind of relation we may start it I hope it never be out the respectable and valuable relation which may create a very strong great relation or if no way at least let a wonderful memory stay till forever each one feel he/she add something useful to the other one. All I hope whatever it was even if it did not go further than this email I hope I let at least a nice trace."

huh? First impression? Ummm..., but an A for effort?

So, what should you say in your first email to a stranger that you're hoping will become more? This is your once chance and you don't want to mess up.

In the past few months I've gotten a lot of "UR CUTE. EMAIL ME BACK." and "You look like fun, wanna chat?" Is that their blanket "what's your sign?" line or are they being serious? So, now that I'm 30 and only men 45+ seem to be checking me out I'm going to be bold and start sending some emails of my own. I'll keep you posted!

Later this week I'll be posting the "If I wanted a girlfriend, I would've reached out to someone hotter" story. Oh yes, these stories are TRUE. :)