And I Wonder Why I'm Not Married?

Apparently boys are instilled with some kind of fear of marriage at a young age? I kid, but seriously, how funny is the little girl? She could care less. It's her way or the highway and just continues to go about her day (while cleaning up a bit!).

If you need me, I'll be in online dating rehab...

As many of you know, I quit Match.com cold turkey last week. This week I have hidden my profile on OK Cupid and this morning, I deleted the apps. If you need me, I'll be in online dating Rehab.

About a month ago, I started to think that I was spending more time trying to find someone online than I was just being myself and experiencing all LA has to offer in the summer. The real kicker was when I discovered that in the morning I wake up, check my email, twitter, facebook and online dating sites before I ever get out of bed. I knew I was addicted.

No. The madness must stop. But, it's harder than I thought it was going to be. Kind-of like seeing the little red light blink on your blackberry when you have an email or your iPhone chime when you have a text, I think I have a physical response to seeing if someone is checking me out online. When I get an email from an online dating site, a little burst of happiness goes through my head (that is, until I realize he is in his 50s and lives in Maine. But still, it's nice to be wanted). Is this a new addiction that can actually happen in our world?

I started doing a little research and apparently, I'm not the only one. The blog, Thoughts on Dating wrote this... "Online dating can be as addictive as anything else because when you make a connection with someone online, it makes the same chemicals in your brain react as if you had taken a drug. The same thing happens to runners and drug addicts. It’s how they become addicted. You aren’t addicted to the online dating, per-se, but you are addicted to the feeling it produces. The endorphins that are released, the feel good chemical, can take control of your life and make you continue doing what it was that released the chemical to begin with. Just in this case it happens to be online dating and not Pot."

There's even a woman who wrote a book about her experience as an online dating junkie.

Yes, I think that's what I have! But, like any other addiction, there is withdrawal and angst when you can't get your fix. The last week or so has made me question my decision and whether I can find "the one" without being online. I go to the gym everyday and am out 3-4 nights a week with friends and family, so there is the possibility, but have I been leaning on my online dating crutch too long?

We'll find out. Starting today, I'm totally cold turkey. No apps (which are really what have sucked me in!) and all accounts have been frozen (not deleted, I don't what to fill out all those questionnaires again!).

Bets on how long it takes me to get my first date internet free? Anyone else out there addicted? Would love to hear your story and would love some male perspective! Email me at mylifeonmatch@gmail.com.

Happy Friday!

Ps. I'm not going to get a date tonight. I'm headed to west hollywood for an art opening. Another night of hot guys checking out other hot guys. At least there will be eye candy.

My DREAM guy - The list!

Everyone says that when you put something you want out there in the universe it is more likely to come true. Well, I'm going to put this to the test. I put together the characteristics I would like in my dream man. Yes, some of these things are negotiable, but I'm talking DREAM man here, not some Joe Shmoe off the street!

Here it is:

Over 6'

Dark hair (light eyes are a huge plus)

Has drive (family and job)

College graduate

Creative

Can carry an intellectual conversation

Challenges me

Up-to-date with news and pop culture

Social drinker

Doesn't smoke

2-6 yrs older than me

Has siblings and a relationship with his family

Physically fit

Likes to play and watch sports

Finds me sexy

Loves me for who I am and the way I am

Likes the arts (museums, plays, etc.)

Enjoys good food & going out to dinner

Wants kids

Likes dogs and doesn't have a cat

Financially stable

Lives in or wants to live in Southern California

Romantic/chivalrous

Honest

Loyal

Good communicator (email, phone, in person)

Has a career

Likes music (even country)

Complimentary

Is funny/ has a good sense of humor

Is affectionate

Likes my family

Has good teeth

Is kind

Has good manners

Is outgoing (doesn't need to be entertained in a group)

Has his own circle of friends

Has traveled (even a little)

If I had to compare him to a TV character, I would probably want to date Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother.

Is this too much to ask? Probably, but I'm throwing it out there anyway! This is what my ideal guy would look like...

Ok, universe, do your magic!

When Match.com Comes to LIFE...

A few weeks ago, I was invited to a birthday party. The hostess is a party planner, so I knew the party was going to be top shelf. We all met at this great bar on the west side and got table service (it was hilarious... like we were in Vegas!). I was expecting to have a few too many drinks and do a little dancing, but wasn't expecting my online dating world to literally be staring back at me.

It was like I was in Where the Wild Things Are... many of the men I had seen online were now standing in front of me. Match.com had COME TO LIFE.

So, my girlfriends and I did what all smart girls since they have seen Clueless - we did several laps of the bar before committing to a location. Unfortunately, our location was in the boondocks. But, as we walked around I had a story for each man...

Man 1: I think he is perfect for me. He apparently does not. He was wearing a wedding ring in one of his photos. I emailed him and asked if he was married. The pictured was cropped. So, I know he read my email, but never responded!

Man 2: Friends with Man 1 and in a few pictures together. Very good looking, but again, didn't email me back.

Man 3: Looked familiar, but didn't look exactly like he did online. I have never reached out to him.

Man 4: Is definitely online, but looks like he is there with a girlfriend. Or at least she thinks she is his girlfriend.

So... what do you do when you actually run into people that you have checked out online? After my lap I went back to stand next to them at the bar and the cute boys had vanished.

But, this also happens to me almost everyday at the gym. Match and OkCupid bounce off the internet walls and end up in my spin class. It's kinda awkward to see someone who has checked out your profile riding next to you. Do you give them the nod or literally wink? ha!

I'm in a bind and would love some advice... Say something? Ignore? Pretend like you didn't see them online? What does one do in this situation?

It's time for coffee talk - comments are encouraged!

The online dating scam - real or fake?

A few weeks ago there was a special on 20/20 on online dating scams. Did anyone see it? I happen to be at my mom's that night. Thanks to my crush, Mr. Chris Cuomo, she is now convinced I'm getting conned by men in Ghana who pose as hottie military men in need of cash every month. Luckily, she is wrong, but she is right because there are some not nice people out there. In case you missed it, recap here.

So, this brings me to the emails. Do women (or men for that matter) know immediately in an email that someone is "not really in it for love?" Take this email for instance... I read this and immediately thought, "this has got to be a computer automated scam." But, maybe some people aren't so savvy?

NICE PROFILE.
NICE PROFILE YOU DISPLAYED ON HERE. TRYING TO EXHIBIT THE WORLD THROUGH MY EYES. I THINK I FIND IT RATHER FASCINATING BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS THE BEST TO KEEP CALM LOOK CLOSELY BEFORE TAKING A DIVE. SO IN ALL I CAN SAY... A NICE PICS YOU'VE GOT TOO. BUT THERE'S ONE MORE THING
I'D LIKE TO KNOW. AND THAT IS IF A GENTLE MAN IS WELCOME IN YOUR WORLD? I HOPE NOT BECAUSE A TRUE EXPLORER SHOULD BE READY FOR THE DANGERS AND PLEASURES OF LIFE. WELL I'M Alan William.... AND I HAPPEN TO BE SINGLE AND NEVER MARRIED .. IF IT'S OK BEING FRIENDS WHY DON'T YOU MAIL ME TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS SO I CAN WRITE MORE ABOUT ME. THE REASON IS
THAT AM NOT A FREQUENT SUBSCRIBER ON HERE . GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER IS ALWAYS THE HARDEST PART BUT I SEE THAT COURAGE IN YOU FROM HERE. THROUGH YOUR EYES.TO INCLUDE THIS ADDYDUM I LIKE TO CLEAR THAT DISTANCE/NATIONALITY DOES NOT TRANSCEND IN RELATIONSHIP NOT EVEN AGE IS CONSIDERED A FACTOR.IF INTERESTED AFTER YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH MY
PROFILE LEAVE A MESSAGE. LOOK AROUND YOU, AREN'T YOU HAVING THE CUTEST PICTURE ON match I VOTE YOU'VE GOT THE MOST MAGICAL SMILE I'VE EVER SEEN IN RECENT TIMES... I MAY NOT BE MR. PERFECT I AM Alan AND I HAPPEN TO NEED THE RIGHT WOMAN AROUND.CONTACT ME HERE ON (Personal email address)
CHEERS..Alan

So this is definitely fake. For one it's in all caps. Who does that? Secondly, his name is not in all caps. Weird? Yes. Third? His profile is GONE. Two days after he sent this email his profile has disappeared. Lastly, his English is tortured. Everyone who follows me on twitter knows how much I appreciate good grammar in an email on an online dating site. Don't write me in text language unless we are texting (or tweeting).

So, guys and girls out there, beware of the scam, but be smart. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck (oh, and asks you for cash), it probably is a creepy conman from Ghana (according to 20/20 - not me!).

Romantic Comedy in 60 seconds

Yup - Love this.

March Madness and Another "Really?" Date

First off, so sorry for the lack of posts! Work has been getting the best of me. I have however, been dating away and some of the dates haven't really been blog-worthy (you can follow me on twitter and I live tweet from my dates in the valet line and bathroom for your enjoyment! @mylifeonmatch). Just a plethora of nice guys that aren't for me. But... then again, there are few that I can talk about. Today's post with feature, March Madness Man. We'll call him 3M.

So, 3M and I met on OK Cupid. I hadn't been out in a while and he reached out. He seemed like a nice guy. 38, tall, brown hair and lived within 20 miles of me. (Side note: As many of you in LA know, anything over 20 miles, and sometimes under, can be a long distance relationship. Sometimes it can take you 20 minutes to get to your date and sometimes it can take you 2 hours. More than likely, it always the latter.)

3M and I emailed a few times and decided to meet at a sports bar on the third street promenade in Santa Monica. Earlier in the day, I checked in via text to make sure we were still on and he texted me back saying he was bowling for a charity event and would try to make it as close to 1pm as possible. We settled on 1pm so we could grab a bite and watch the game of one of my favorite Pac-10 (now Pac-12) teams.

I leave my house giving me ample time to get there park and meet him out front. At 12:50pm I roll in and see a table up front. Since it is a packed sports bar I grab the table as soon as I can. Also, since it is a busy bar, I have to order something in order to keep the table. So, I order a beer, take off my sweater, aim myself towards the TV and wait.

1pm rolls by.... I get a text, "I'm on my way! Sorry, bad traffic."

1:15pm rolls by... nothing.

1:20pm... I'm getting a little annoyed and now a little embarrassed that I am holding this table for myself in a land of cute guys all with their friends cheering on the game. I send 3M a text, "I got us a great table. I'm wearing jeans and a pink and white top. Hope to see you soon."

1:30pm... Text from 3M. "Hey, trying to park. Wow, the traffic is bad around here." The entire time I'm thinking, "Duh... have you NEVER been to Santa Monica on a Saturday?"

1:45pm... 3M rolls in.

Him: "Wow. Had to no idea how bad the traffic would be."

Me: "How long have you lived in LA?"

Him: "10 years"

SERIOUSLY? AND YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW BAD THE TRAFFIC WOULD BE?

Me: "Ok. Well, sorry. I had to order a drink to save us this table. Hope you don't mind."

Him: "No, but is that your first drink?"

Me: "Um, yes." Did he expect me not to drink or to be wasted?

Him: "Well, I just had a bunch of bowling food, but could really go for some fries. You want something?"

Me: "I think I'll have another drink." I'm also thinking... aren't fries bowling food?

Now, 3M is a nice guy, but again (you guys know my luck with the online dating scene), his pictures are definitely a few years old. 3M is balding and supporting a tummy that could easily pass for a woman in her 2nd trimester.

Back to the game that is getting good.

Him: "Who are you rooting for?"

I tell him the team I like and why I like them (no, I didn't go to school there, but know a bunch of people who did). He then decides to make things interesting that he is going to root for the other team, just because.

Now, I'm a competitive person, but really? We're supposed to get to know each other on this date. He was 45 minutes late and is now going to root against me?

Throughout the game and the bucket of fries, we talk about what we do. It's like we're on two different planets. He says he is saving the world on his profile. He works in politics (and is on the other side of spectrum than I am). I say I'm saving the world on my profile. I work for a number of nonprofits. Ok, neither of us are really saving the world, but come on...

Back to the game... we're in double overtime. My team is playing awesome, but the game is close. 3M is now standing up and cheering on the other team... JUST. BECAUSE. My team loses. 3M is now laughing. And just like that the date was over. I'm not a poor sport, but I am a little annoyed. We have also run out of things to talk about.

We leave on nice terms... "Great meeting you. Thanks for the beer!" But, my interest level in him is at a zero. I think nothing of it and head home. At least I got to see the game on the big screen.

A MONTH LATER, 3M calls and leaves a message on my cell. I have saved it because it still makes me laugh. "Hey, Emily, It's 3M from OK Cupid (like it's his company). Was just calling to check in and say hi. I hope we can still be friends. Maybe I'll run into you again sometime? Talk soon!"

Did he just give me the "I hope we can be friends" line? It's like he broke up with me and we went on one date, a MONTH ago!

Again, another great experience, but goes down in my books as a "really?" date because every time I think about it the only word that comes to mind is "really?"