As many of you know, I quit Match.com cold turkey last week. This week I have hidden my profile on OK Cupid and this morning, I deleted the apps. If you need me, I'll be in online dating Rehab.
About a month ago, I started to think that I was spending more time trying to find someone online than I was just being myself and experiencing all LA has to offer in the summer. The real kicker was when I discovered that in the morning I wake up, check my email, twitter, facebook and online dating sites before I ever get out of bed. I knew I was addicted.
No. The madness must stop. But, it's harder than I thought it was going to be. Kind-of like seeing the little red light blink on your blackberry when you have an email or your iPhone chime when you have a text, I think I have a physical response to seeing if someone is checking me out online. When I get an email from an online dating site, a little burst of happiness goes through my head (that is, until I realize he is in his 50s and lives in Maine. But still, it's nice to be wanted). Is this a new addiction that can actually happen in our world?
I started doing a little research and apparently, I'm not the only one. The blog, Thoughts on Dating wrote this... "Online dating can be as addictive as anything else because when you make a connection with someone online, it makes the same chemicals in your brain react as if you had taken a drug. The same thing happens to runners and drug addicts. It’s how they become addicted. You aren’t addicted to the online dating, per-se, but you are addicted to the feeling it produces. The endorphins that are released, the feel good chemical, can take control of your life and make you continue doing what it was that released the chemical to begin with. Just in this case it happens to be online dating and not Pot."
Yes, I think that's what I have! But, like any other addiction, there is withdrawal and angst when you can't get your fix. The last week or so has made me question my decision and whether I can find "the one" without being online. I go to the gym everyday and am out 3-4 nights a week with friends and family, so there is the possibility, but have I been leaning on my online dating crutch too long?
We'll find out. Starting today, I'm totally cold turkey. No apps (which are really what have sucked me in!) and all accounts have been frozen (not deleted, I don't what to fill out all those questionnaires again!).
Bets on how long it takes me to get my first date internet free? Anyone else out there addicted? Would love to hear your story and would love some male perspective! Email me at mylifeonmatch@gmail.com.
Happy Friday!
Ps. I'm not going to get a date tonight. I'm headed to west hollywood for an art opening. Another night of hot guys checking out other hot guys. At least there will be eye candy.
I had casually mentioned a dating site to a friend and she went bananas with it. She had forsaken school assignments, going out and she was just focused on this website. Her luck though was beyond bad...she met some really shady characters so to try to break her out of it, we are taking her to meet men offline. I think it is the convenience and limited effort that makes it so attractive. But unless there is a balance, it can just be as bad as smoking crack. lol. Cyber crack! lol.
ReplyDeleteI agree! Here's to seeing what it's like in the real world for a while! Maybe I'll come back to online dating when the weather gets crappy again. In the meantime, outdoor happy hours here I come! Thanks for reading and thanks more for the comment!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that logs in to see the guys that "want her" for the ego boost then logs out. Online Dating Validation Addiction
ReplyDeleteShe's funny. She says it feels good to be wanted.