The Drive That Was Longer Than The Date

Sometimes you need to put yourself out there and see what happens. Well, I did that and it ended up costing me 3 hours in the car that I will never get back.

Back in March I thought I would expand my Match search to include Orange County. For those of you who don't live in LA, Orange County is not too far in miles, but is far when it comes to traffic. 20 miles = 45 minutes. However, there are some VERY cute men in Orange County and if it means I'm going to fall in love, what's a little time in the car?

I started emailing with OC guy in February. After a few weeks of emailing, we decided it was time to bite the bullet and meet in person. I should have thought twice when he recommended that I come to him, but you live and learn!

We decided to meet at an OC sports bar and watch some college basketball games around 7pm. He lived 10 minutes from there... I know I'm dumb, please don't point it out! I left my house in LA around 5. Seriously, 5pm. I gave myself 2 hours to get there. I figured if I got there early I could always do some shopping before we were supposed to meet.

At least I know LA well! It took me exactly 2 hours to get there! By the time I arrived, my ass was asleep and my make-up looked like it had been on my face all day. Stressed and annoyed, I cleaned myself up and headed into the bar.

Hmmm... I looked everywhere and wasn't seeing the person I had been emailing. So, I took out my phone and texted OC guy to see where he was. Yup, he was in the bar and I just wasn't recognizing him. MAYBE, because he didn't look anything like his photo. Well, I'm sure he looked like that when the picture was taken, but that had to have been a good 8-10 years ago. Now he had less hair, a few more pounds and an "interesting" sense of style.

I'm there and do not want to get back in the car, so we sit down at the bar for a drink. I order a beer and OC guy orders a beer and dinner. Wait? Dinner? Again? At this point it is 7:15. I'm hungry, kinda pissy from the drive and my slight disappointment from the person sitting next to me, so I order something to eat.

THANK GOD FOR MARCH MADNESS or I wouldn't have lasted another 10 minutes. We eat, chat a bit and even after lots of emails realize that we don't really have much in common let alone any chemistry in person. Now, for those who know me, know I can talk to a wall if it will listen, so it's very rare to be in a position where I have nothing to say. In this case, I had almost nothing to say and turned my attention to the many TV screens of amazing basketball games. I love March Madness - Cinderella stories, last minute buzzer shots, college guys with amazing arms, etc. I digress...

As the game we were watching came to an end, I looked down at my watch. WHAT? How can it only be 8pm? What am I going to say to his guy? So, I did what any girl would do, I went to the bathroom to devise a plan. I called a girlfriend asked for advice. I even texted an x-boyfriend who lives in the OC to come rescue me, (un)fortunately he wasn't home and couldn't help me out. I finally made my decision - He only lived 10 minutes away, just call it a night.

So, that's what I did. By the time I had gotten back to the bar he had paid for dinner and asked it I wanted another drink. Since I had to drive all the way back to LA, it was the perfect out. No more drinks and we're in a bar - lets call it a night! So, at 8:15pm I climbed back into my car and headed back to LA. It only took me 50 minutes to get home and I got to tell 3 different girlfriends about my night. Ah, the drive that was longer than the date.

I'm still interested in dating OC guys, but they either have to meet me halfway or come to LA.

The Guy Who Forgot His Wallet

I met "No Wallet Guy" (NWG) on Match.com this year. Again, he wasn't really my type, but I've been trying to date outside my type, since obviously still single at 30, my "type" doesn't seem to be working for me! We emailed a few times and his profile seemed nice. A few things to note on his profile... He said he was an engineer and 5'10. Back to those "facts" later!

We finally find a time to meet and decide on drinks at a nearby high-end sushi place. I arrive 5 minutes early and don't see the guy from the profile anywhere. Then, a man about 5'7 comes up to me... "Emily?" OH SHIT.

As we venture inside the restaurant I head to the bar for our "drinks" and he heads to the hostess. WHAT??? Yes, NWG had made reservations. I quickly realize that drinks is turning into dinner.

As we sit down for dinner, NWG orders an $18 glass of wine and a platter of sushi. While waiting for dinner to come I learn a few more things about NWG that he wasn't forthcoming about on his profile. He has an identical twin (I have a ton of twin friends, but think identical twins are kinda weird). He is an engineer, but happened to forget to mention that he is an engineer in the Coast Guard. Wait, did I mention he is clearly under 5'10?? These are not bad things, but more things I was surprised by.

We continue to chat and things just seem to be going downhill faster than Jack and Jill. We have almost nothing in common. He doesn't own a TV (the only thing going thru my head is, how does he keep up with what's going on between Meredith and Derek let alone watch Sunday football??). He hasn't seen a movie in over 3 years (You DIDN'T see 500 Days of Summer???). He is into "extreme activities" like mountain climbing and camping. Extreme camping to me is having to crash at a friend's house and sleep on a full size Aero Bed.

So, after an hour of painful chit chat and LOTS of sushi the $100 bill comes. (I had a beer and 6 pieces of sushi.) I offer to pay for half seeing there is not way we are EVER going out again. He says thanks and then starts getting flush and antsy...

"Oh My God. I'm so embarrassed. I changed my pants before I left and think I forgot my wallet."

Me: "Hmmm... Ok. I'll get it."

Him: "Wow. Thanks."

Did he think we were going to leave without paying the bill or wash dishes in the back to cover it? Two minutes after I sign and pay for dinner I announce that it is time for me to get going. NWG walks me to my car and says we should get together again soon. Sure...

Oh my way home I call my mom and tell her my horror story. She responds with "WHAT? Is he going to pay you back? Oh no, Emily! Do you think was a scam? He picks up girls online to go to dinner with and forgets his wallet for a free meal! You were used!" I calm her down and just chalk this up to a BAD date. One of my guy friends said that he would be more likely to leave home without his pants than his wallet on a first date. Unfortunately, he wasn't the one I was on a date with. No pants would have meant no dinner or drinks!

The next morning I get an email in my inbox from NWG! It reads "Thanks, again, for dinner last night; I had a real good time. We talked quite a bit about family, I am always a little verbose around that topic. I was wondering what ur plans are for the weekend. I don't have too much going on; Let me know if your up for something."

I was in shock! Did he really want to go out again? I would have been mortified and hid in my house for a week. So, I responded (I'm DEAD serious. This is what I wrote word-for-word)

"Hi NWG,

Thanks for your email. While it was great meeting you, per our conversation at dinner, I definitely don't think we have all that much in common. I’m much more of a pop culture girl, while you enjoy more extreme hobbies.

Also, while I know you didn’t mean to forget your wallet, the date was really expensive and I blew my weekend budget on our dinner. As a small business owner I'm on a really tight budget. Of course, I wasn't expecting you to pay for our date (hence me asking if we could split it), but I also wasn't expecting to pay for the whole thing either.

Good luck with your search. I’m sure you’ll find someone who is a perfect match for you."

10 minutes later, this was his response, "Thank you for your honesty, I do apologize about the dinner/wallet issue. I would like to take care of my portion of dinner. I appreciate that you dealt with it gracefully. However, I don't think you should take the hit. If you would let me give u cash 50 60 bucks I would like that. "

Now, I'm at a crossroads. Am I that bitchy girl who asks for money back or do I just not respond and end the whole thing now?

I was peer-pressured I tell you! The girls in my life "made" me respond and later that day NWG dropped off a card and $60 in cash to an undisclosed location which was not my house. The card said it all. It was a hallmark card that read "Congratulations on finding the one!" NWG wrote on the inside "Not a match. Good luck with your search!"

In the end he redeemed himself and is really a nice guy. Major props for the funny card and the cash! But, I chose to go home and start match.com surfing again.

Blackberry Messenger is NOT an OK form of communication

Anyone who has seen "He's Just Not That Into You" and who is currently dating, knows that there are far too many forms of communication in the dating world. There is instant message, blackberry messenger (bbm), texting (and sexting!), email (personal and your online dating inbox), your cell, work and home phones and of course an actual card (I think I have gotten 2 of these in my entire life from someone I've been dating and one was written by the florist). So, you have to be careful about what road you're okay taking when you start communicating with someone. I usually am okay with email an the occasional text/bbm if that person has called in the past and doesn't have a fear of picking up the phone.

I recently went a few dates with a guy (we'll call him Tall Guy - he is 6'4 and all legs) and we met on eharmony. We chatted on the phone a few times, emailed and had now gone on 2 dates - one at Pinkberry and one a fun Japanese place. After these dates, I had decided it was okay to accept him as a bbm contact. BIG MISTAKE. After 2 weeks of him not asking me out again, but feeling the need to check in via bbm, our messengering conversation went something like this...

Emily: Hey - so here's the thing and I'm just gonna throw it out there... I know ur busy, but I like it when guys call and chat and ask me out on dates. So, if you wanna hang out again lemme know. Bbm is good for "hi" but a call is better :)

Tall Guy: :( I'm sorry!

Emily: You don't have to be sorry. I get it... technology makes dating too confusing. I just havn't heard from u besides bbm in a while so wasn't sure what u were thinking

Tall Guy: I understand what u mean.

Emily: I'm just not big on having to make the effort all the time. I'm looking to get wooed - at some point :)

Tall Guy: I've been in a work bubble this week and last and have been anti social. Your the second girl to make me realize that.

Emily: I just always figured if someone liked me they'd want to see me, but again, I'm not really sure if that's the case

Tall Guy: Well I would definitely love to see u again! and catch up on the phone too.

Emily: Good! :)

Emily: U have my info - call me when u have a time u want to ask me out. Cool?

Tall Guy: I will. I have NOTHING work related over the weekend.

Emily: I'm actually crazy busy this weekend. But, I'm around next week. Cool?

Tall Guy: Ok. We'll definitely do dinner next week.

Emily: Sounds good. Talk soon :)

Tall Guy: Thanks:). Talk to u later.

Emily: Nite :). Sorry to get all girly on u

Tall Guy: I like your style;)

Emily: :). Nite!

Tall Guy: Gnite

Yay! He's gonna call and we're going to go out again!

Another 2 weeks fly by with radio silence and I figure I have nothing to lose and shoot him a text saying, "Hey, bummer I never heard from you. Hope all is well!" Hey, it was worth a shot, right?

He responded a few hours later... "I thought you blew me off." I officially give up. SERIOUSLY? I was actually really bummed by this too - he was cute, fun and really nice in person.

The lesson learned from this experience? Make them call you and only text and bmm when you have something short and sweet to day. Every date just gets you closer to the "one" right?