When Your Ex-Boyfriend Pees on You

If I was a dog, my ex-boyfriend peed on me this weekend. Yup, he marked his territory to make sure no other dogs would want anything to do with me. And, the best part? We haven't really talked in about two years.

A little background info...

McDouche (ex-Boyf, who used to be a McDreamy and is now known as McDouche) and I dated for a year long distance (LA to Northern California). That was four years ago. We grew up in the same town except he graduated four years before me. I had always known about him, but when we met at a bar post college, sparks flew. A day before I moved to Northern California he emailed me. Our first date was three days long. I fell hard.

We broke up the day before my 27th bday and nine days before my sister's wedding. Everyone at the wedding asked where he was and why he wasn't there. It was a nightmare.

A few months later I moved back to Los Angeles for a job and he could've cared less. He Facebooked me. I ignored him. Unfortunately, because we grew up in the same town, there is still a lot of crossover. My sisters run into him and his new girlfriend all the time. And that's exactly what happened this past weekend.

My sister was at a street fair and ended up at the local bar. She really wants me to find someone wonderful and whenever she sees a cute guy she asks if he is single and if he wants my number. (Hell, I date people I meet online, my little sis pimping me out can't be any worse!) So, she saw a cute guy (yes, someone else from the town we grew up in) and got his card for me. Then, she ran into McDouche. McDouche was sitting next to his latest girlfriend and said hello. He then noticed the card (that read, "For Emily" on it) in my little sister's hand and grabbed it. He looked at it, ripped it up and said "Your sister deserves better than this."

Seriously? He should have just peed on me in this animal kingdom we call a world. It would have been easier.

My sister gave the cute new guy my info anyways. We'll see what happens.